I’ve never bought into the concept of a god for humans. Do we deserve absolvement from all our sins, to go to a glorious heaven in the clouds? I’m not so sure. But a god for horses – for those beautiful creatures whose only desire is to run around freely, munch on some crunchy carrots, and love their humans unconditionally? Now that’s a religion I’ll go to church for.
Breath of the Wild got it right: the Horse God Malanya’s sole purpose is to low-key condemn terrible humans who get their horse killed – accidentally or not – and revive the victim if the condemned is sorry. Every horse that’s ever been forced to run in front of a Guardian beam or a rogue bomb makes their way to loving Malanya up in horsie heaven.
In OutsetEmporium’s artwork of this wonderful deity, we’re graced with a peek at his heavenly realm, where all horses are greeted with beaming blue skies, shimmering clouds, and the god’s open arms (well, hands).
It’s a tried and true depiction of heaven – there’s not a cloud in the sky, but instead they cushion horses’ weary hooves. And it’s perfect. It’s drawn with bright colors and meticulous brushwork, creating an aura of untarnishable perfection yet cozy softness – just like you would imagine heaven to be. It’s a place where no more harm can reach the pure souls of horses. It’s a place where Malanya himself greets his horsie children.
This may be my imagination, but I’m sure OutsetEmporium has filled Malanya’s otherwise hollow eyes with a look of compassion and warmth. His eyes normally appear narrow and his face contorts with judgement. But here, as a gorgeous auburn horse (who looks suspiciously like Epona) stands before the god, there is only love. The usual intense gaze seems only reserved for careless Hylians like Link, who is unfortunately far from inculpable despite being Hyrule’s hero. Malanya’s love for all horses is undeniable, and I’m glad to see it. He’s a deity I’ll willingly support with endless Endura Carrots.
My favourite aspect of this piece actually transcends the artwork itself. It reminded me of something both hilarious and wonderful that I had to share, and which I hope will now be permanently connected to the piece in your mind, too.
If you’ve ever watched the TV show Parks and Recreation, you’ll remember the town’s celebrity horse called Li’l Sebastian. Upon the tragic passing of the beloved horse, a tribute song is performed – entitled “5000 Candles in the Wind”. It’s an adaptation of “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John, written to instead be “a song that’s 5,000 times better than Candle in the Wind”. This artwork immediately made me think of it.
“Up in horsie heaven, here’s the thing
You trade your legs for angels wings
And once we’ve all said goodbye
You take a running leap and you learn to fly
Bye bye Li’l Sebastian…”
Here’s a clip with the song for you to enjoy, and now you’ll always think of the Horse God Malanya (as well as the treasure that is Li’l Sebastian) as depicted here in horsie heaven when you hear it.
