The Legend of Zelda TV series retrospective: Episode 9, ‘Stinging a Stinger’

In the previous installment of this retrospective series, we hit a high point of The Legend of Zelda cartoon. In fact, I declared “Underworld Connections” to be my absolute favorite episode. With that in mind, you already know that the following episodes aren’t going to surpass what I personally consider the series’ pinnacle.

Unfortunately, “Stinger a Stinger” doesn’t even come close. In fact, we’re heading into a downslide in quality for these next few episodes.

Sword and scandal

Sleezenose presents his “gift” to Link: a mighty sword that will impress Princess Zelda.

The story begins with Link, relaxed on horseback, playing “loves me, loves me not” in Hyrule’s woods. As you’d expect, our hero doesn’t get to relax for long before hearing a nearby scream for help. Following the cries of anguish, Link arrives on the scene to find a gang of brutes bullying a small, weak old man. Of course, Link isn’t going to allow this, and when the men make the mistake of challenging the adventurer to fight, Link effortlessly humiliates them all and forces them to run away.

The elderly man is very thankful to Link for saving him, offering him “the world’s most magnificent sword” as a token of his gratitude. Link humbly declines, but the man insists and offers to take Link’s old sword off his hands. Link is hesitant at first, but the deal is sealed when the man mentions that the new blade will make him “irresistible to ladies […] especially princesses.”

In The Legend of Zelda games, Link often trades in his first sword for one that deals more damage to his enemies, aiding his efficiency in battle. This episode may be referencing the original game in this regard, wherein Link can acquire a White Sword and a Magical Sword respectively. Unfortunately, in the TV series, Link’s attempt at upgrading his weaponry isn’t quite as successful, as the sword shatters the instant he attempts to fight off Ganon’s minions.

Link’s new sword shatters as soon as he attempts to deflect a Patra’s incoming beam.

While Link begins to realize he has been conned, the old man regroups with the ruffians who were supposedly threatening him just moments ago, only to reveal that he hired them to perform in order to gain possession of Link’s Crissword.

It’s probably about time that I mentioned that this old man’s name is “Sleezenose.” Who’d have thought that Link would get double-crossed with a name like that?

A little too on the nose

Go ahead Link, hand over your weapon. Who wouldn’t trust a face like that?

So far in this cartoon, I’ve generally been warmly receptive toward the characters that do not canonically appear in the Zelda games. Spryte and King Harkinian make North Castle a little more lively when it needs to be, and Prince Facade was the highlight in another favorite episode of mine, “The White Knight.” I can’t say I feel the same way for Sleezenose.

The main problem is the lack of subtlety to Sleezenose, and the lack of mystery to his intentions. “Sleezenose is the name and peddling’s my game,” he says as soon as he introduces himself to Link. I joked about the name already, but seriously, that along with his raspy voice, crooked nose, and wicked grin leaves the viewer with absolutely no room for a potential benefit of the doubt.

After Sleezenose exposes his transparent wickedness, I was at least surprised when I first discovered that he wasn’t an ally of Ganon’s. While Link and Zelda are trapped in the Underworld as Ganon’s prisoners, the conman arrives in Ganon’s lair as a guest, offering to sell Link’s Crissword to the villain. Ganon is outraged at Sleezenose’s price of 1,000 rubies (that’s right, it’s still “rubies,” not “rupees”), and quickly decides to steal the weapon without payment before throwing Sleezenose in a cell along with Link and Zelda. This forces the trio into an alliance for the remainder of the story, but Sleezenose never changes his ways. He attempts to escape from Gohma alone while leaving Link and Zelda to perish, and he also tries to steal the Triforce of Wisdom at the end of the episode.

if the series had aired 10 years later, Tingle could have filled Sleezenose’s role perfectly.

No attempt is made at allowing Sleezenose to take an opportunity at redemption, leaving his character very dull and forgettable. Prince Facade was interesting in his sole appearance because the character developed over the course of the story, with his exterior of perfection later exposed by his cowardly flaws. I would have liked to see Sleezenose retire his immoral peddling and choose to pursue an honest life after the danger he put himself and others into.

Sleezenose is either bold or stupid to try and bargain with Ganon.

With the TV series being produced so early in the legacy of The Legend of Zelda franchise, it’s understandable that there weren’t as many characters in the games to cherrypick from to adapt for the cartoon. When I watch this episode, though, I can’t help but think that if the series had aired just over a decade later, Tingle could have filled Sleezenose’s role perfectly. Tingle is also a small man consumed with greed and with a history of nefarious acts, but he could have brought some more depth to the role with his trademark flamboyancy and childish behavior.

Let’s Gohma-nother round

The Patras are the only enemies in the series to defeat Link.

Going back to Link’s fruitless trade with Sleezenose, he hears Zelda screaming nearby and immediately runs to her rescue with his new, supposedly princess-pleasing sword. Zelda is being chased by a swarm of Patras: giant, flying eyeballs with wings. These creatures were first seen as bosses in the original Legend of Zelda game and were always seen attacking in a group formation. This is also the case in the episode, wherein the Patras are pursuing the princess in a group of three. They are also the only enemies in the series to actually defeat Link, zapping him mercilessly until he falls to the ground and Zelda rushes to his aid. Of course, he had a clear disadvantage with his sword broken and no means to defend himself, but a win is a win.

Just as these optic oddities never returned in the canonical games, this is the one and only time they appeared in the cartoon, but I’m glad they did. They are easily the most freakish-looking enemies seen in the TV series, and as a result, they are by far the highlight of this episode.

Gohma is back for revenge, and neither Spryte nor the Crissword is here to save Link and Zelda this time.

When Link, Zelda, and Sleezenose become Ganon’s prisoners, they are hurled into Gohma’s lair. This is the second time we’ve seen the mighty crab monster, following its debut in “Cold Spells,” but with Link’s weapon in Ganon’s hands, things are kept slightly interesting this time due to the fact that our heroes have to improvise. Link is unable to zap the monster with his Crissword and, after some initial resistance from Sleezenose, the trio empty their pockets to assess what they can use from the few resources they have. Between them, they have a rope, a Magic Boomerang, and lockpicks. Zelda lassos Gohma’s pincer, but the beast overpowers her and swings her around. Fortunately, Link anticipated this, and by stunning Gohma with a fallen stalactite, Zelda’s circular momentum allows her to tie up Gohma tightly with the rope. It’s a nice change from the usual zaps and magic bolts.

The Lowder sits happily and patiently while its master and fellow minions are attacked by bees. There’s a good boy!

Another returning beast from “Cold Spells,” the Lowder also appears in “Stinging a Stinger.” Once again, it does not engage in combat and only serves to transport Ganon through Hyrule. Stalfos play a background role in this episode, but I couldn’t help but notice their strange behavior. For some reason, the skeleton creatures are seen floating beside Ganon and the Lowder like ghosts, which they aren’t known to do in the series or the games. It’s never explained, or even addressed, and it makes the final sequence feel even more out of place than it already does.

This last scene really bugs me

The unlikely allies make it out of the Underworld, but the problem of Link’s missing sword remains unresolved. They turn to the Triforce of Wisdom for an attack plan against Ganon, who says, “When magical means will not suffice, use natural means as your device.” The resulting plan is not as cool as the cryptic clue may make it sound: Link, Zelda, and Sleezenose wander into the woods to collect ants and bees to use against Ganon.

With the Crissword in Ganon’s grasp, Spryte says he is too powerful to be fought with magic. Apparently, though, a beehive to the face will do the trick.

It’s a bizarre change of pace for the episode. As soon as the action-packed Gohma fight ends and our heroes return home, it quickly and jarringly transitions into a bug-hunting montage. It feels like the protagonists are setting up a prank rather than a plan of attack. I’m not sure why Zelda can’t use her bow, or why Link can’t use bombs and boomerangs as he often does.

The only conclusion I came to regarding the decision to incorporate bug hunting into the plot is so that Zelda can make a bad pun at the end (and create the episode title in the process). When they successfully retrieve the Crissword by surprising Ganon with an angry beehive, Sleezenose slips away and attempts to steal the Triforce of Wisdom from North Castle. Zelda anticipates this, however, and gives him a surprise of his own when he opens a box full of stinging ants instead. It’s a long setup for the line: “And that’s how you sting a stinger!”

I’m going to say it wasn’t worth it.

A sting in the tale

Right before this scene, Link once again ruined his chances at a kiss from Zelda by saying “I’d bee glad to, honey.” Zelda declares that she is disgusted by Link’s “bad puns,” yet makes one herself moments later. I must admit, it did amuse me that Zelda thought her pun was acceptable and Link’s wasn’t, but it seems more like an oversight from the writers rather than an intentional gag.

Only princesses are allowed to make stupid puns, Link.

The writing suffers in other aspects of the episode, too. Upon capturing Link and Zelda, Ganon cackles with delight and announces his plan to bargain with King Harkinian (Zelda’s father), demanding the kingdom of Hyrule and the Triforce of Wisdom in exchange for his daughter. He seems to immediately forget this, however, when he decides to offer Zelda to Gohma as a snack.

There is one point of interest in this episode, though. We’ve mentioned the Crissword in this retrospective series before, but this episode marks the one and only time that Link’s blade is named as such. It’s not a canonical weapon from the games, but considering that this cartoon was produced before the Master Sword was introduced in A Link to the Past, I admire the fact that the creators of this cartoon decided to give the sword a name, rather than leaving it as a generic blade. It also adds to the weight of Link’s loss when the Crissword is stolen.

“Stinging a Stinger” is not a great episode, but it’s also not the worst. That’s not me being optimistic, by the way: That’s a warning of what’s to come.