An anonymous Hollywood crew member came forward today with rather startling information concerning the upcoming live action Zelda movie. Identified only on the internet as Oroyp, the individual claimed to be a disgruntled videographer and leaked information across several social media channels that the title for the Zelda movie would be Legend of Zelda: Secret of the Spirit Train. In a series of several colorful posts, Oroyp divulged that the movie would be loose adaptation of Spirit Tracks with a hybrid genre that would cross between a western film and a mystery whodunit. Oroyp also revealed that the cast for Secret of the Spirit Train includes Johnny Depp as Linebeck III, Jennifer Aniston as Princess Zelda, Mike Myers as Ganondorf, Danny DeVito as Tingle, and Chris Pratt as Link.
Of course, the leak ignited the internet faster than you could say “Locomo.” One might as well have tried using gasoline to put out a forest fire. Zelda Universe staff attempted to contact Oroyp to verify the information, but the fellow already deactivated all of their accounts after declaring that they despised their job and that their “uncle works for Nintendo.”
Finally, after much travail and agony, Zelda movie Director Wes Ball made a public statement on the matter. “Look, I know what you’re thinking. It’s not what you were expecting. But yes, we’re making a live action Spirit Tracks movie, and by darn it you’re going to like it! It’s going to be great!”
“Train movies are underrated. Great train movies are out there, but they’re not talked about very much,” stated Avi Arad, Zelda movie co-producer. Arad came forth shortly after Wes Ball online. “You’ve got The Polar Express, Bullet Train, Murder on the Orient Express. You know, huge blockbusters. Our marketers are telling us that train movies will soon be in high demand for movie-goers. Gotta keep up with the Joneses, you know?”
Shigeru Miyamoto has not made any comments at this time.
Fans of Spirit Tracks were thrilled of the thought that their favorite title was getting the big screen treatment. Some showed excitement at the possible shipping opportunities that could unfold between Link and Zelda in the film. Most fans, however, were outright furious at the initial revelation. They emphatically showed disgust in ways we would not be able to professionally express in this article. We’ll keep you posted as more information unfolds in this riveting developing story.
