I’ll admit it. I didn’t beat Ocarina of Time until two years ago or so. I know, I know, but I had a very good reason, I swear. When I was in middle school, I spent a majority of my nights playing on my GameCube. It was silver and beautiful. We had a hefty CRT TV in our dining room that our consoles were hooked up to. I sat in that corner for hours playing various Zelda games and others like Custom Robo and Evolution Worlds. The one that logged the most hours was my Zelda Special Edition Compilation Disk that came with my ‘cube. It had The Legend of Zelda, Zelda II, Majora’s Mask, and Ocarina of Time.
So, if I spent so long playing it, why didn’t I beat it? Two words: Bongo Bongo.
For those not in the know, Bongo Bongo is the boss of the Shadow Temple in Ocarina of Time. It’s basically a giant peeled onion with one eye and two severed hands floating above a giant bongo. It circles the stage, drumming to a song no one hears, bouncing you at inopportune times, and punches on occasion. It sucks. It’s hard. It was impossible for me to beat.
It wasn’t for lack of trying. I have many save files across several memory cards that all end in one spot. I tried everything. Iron boots to weigh me down? Didn’t work. Hover boots to keep me up? Even harder. What about fire arrows? Did they do more damage? Maybe, but I still failed. How about leaving the dungeon, getting every piece of heart and magic upgrade possible, load up on fairies, and return to put that drumming dummy in its place? Nope. Sorry.
I broke down and did the tried and true tactic of asking my big brother for help. “Jacob,” I asked, “pweeeease, can you beat this guy for me?” However, I was not endearing when I was in 8th grade, so he said no.
Years of trying bore no fruit. It’s honestly pathetic how many times I tried and failed. To be fair, I’m not the best at video games, but still. I’ve beaten The Legend of Zelda on the NES, so I know I can beat hard games. But this… this Bongo Beast?
I gave up. I didn’t play Ocarina of Time from 2011 until 2021. All because of that monster. However, when I started writing for Zelda Universe, I figured that enough was enough. I bought a copy of Ocarina of Time 3D, booted up my long dormant 3DS, and started playing. I blazed through the Child timeline, muscle memory guiding my way. The Forest Temple? No problem. The Fire Temple? Get outta here. The Water Temple? Okay, that one was pretty tricky, but I managed to complete it.
Finally, it was time to face my fears in the Shadow Temple. I completed the temple itself and steeled myself for what lay below. I jumped down. The beat of the bongos matching the beat of my heart (concerning, probably should have called a doctor). Then, there it was. The beast. My arch-nemesis. I readied my bow and started the battle of a lifetime.
I beat it in the first try.
What?
Did the developers just make it easier in 3D? They had to. Whatever the answer is, don’t tell me. I’m just going to pretend that I’ve evolved as an epic gamer. Yup, no more Bongo Bongo for me. I ended up beating the game for the first time after that and haven’t picked it up since. But, in my darkest nightmares, I still hear the bongos.
