There are some people you know who are a perfect couple. Then there are people you know who are an obnoxious couple. I like to think that Honey and Darling are a combination of both. If you’re not certain who I am referring to, think back to the early hours of Ocarina of Time. You’ll know them instantly when you see them dancing in the marketplace. Like a wind-up music box, Honey and Darling spin endlessly in each other’s embrace throughout the day.
I remember being initially fascinated by these two as a child, but as soon as I spoke to them, I became completely disinterested. All the sappy mush gushing from their mouths was too overly romantic for my tween brain, and when Darling claimed that Honey is prettier than Princess Zelda; that’s when I “noped” out of there.
After the calamity of Ganondorf’s takeover during the seven years Link was missing, the square seemed empty simply because these two weren’t there. I felt sad, believing that they were now dancing among the Redeads that terrorized the streets. Yes, they were a tad obnoxious, but they were in love. They had their whole future ahead of them!
Later on in the adventure, I discovered they had survived. There they were, dancing as they always had, right in Kakariko village. I happily scurried up to them to catch up after all this time, to which, in response, they chastised me for being annoying. They claimed I was invading their privacy. Well, if you wanted some space, maybe you should get a room instead of showing your displays of affection out in the open.
I get it, though. If you were walking in a park and passed a couple that was sitting on a bench kissing and sharing an intimate moment, then you walked up to them with absolutely nothing of importance to say, interrupting them for the sake of interrupting, it would be understandably frustrating to the couple. But it is a video game, and we all know we use video games as an outlet to do things we should never do in reality, so yeah I’m going to talk to them, and they are the rude ones. Not me.
I will admit, there’s a cute novelty factor about Honey and Darling. They’re really corny and clearly in that “honeymoon” phase of their relationship, but they also stayed that madly in love for seven years. That’s commitment. Yes, if you talk to them, they’re a little snooty and absorbed in their romance, but perhaps this is a relationship meant to be shared just between them. All we can do is watch and enjoy as they spend the rest of their lives in each other’s arms.
What a sappy ending. Happy friggin’ Valentines’ day. Bleh.
