The Legend of Zelda teaches us many lessons about life through its gameplay – some that your parents will like, and some that they won’t. Here are the top 5 real life teachings of the Legend of Zelda series.
#5: Always Cut the Grass
If there’s one thing that parents love about the Legend of Zelda, it’s that it gives their children an obsessive-compulsive urge to cut down any grass that they see. Every LoZ player knows that by cutting grass, you can often find rupees, bombs, arrows and even hearts.
Be warned though that these children may not discriminate between long grass and your prized bushes.
#4: Wear Heavy Iron Boots When Walking Into Lakes
I’m sure everybody knows some people who could use this valuable advice. The Iron Boots are a staple of underwater exploration in the Zelda series, and without its help Link could never have explored the temples at the bottom of Lake Hylia.
As humans generally cannot breathe water, this is not a recommended course of action until you find some fishmen to make you a blue version of your clothes that will allow you to breathe water indefinitely.
#3: Pots Must Be Destroyed
By far the most common of the minions of Ganon that Link encounters on his adventures, pots are dangerous creatures, which often hide in the houses of other people. If you see one, pick it up and smash it against the wall.
#2: Break Into Every House You See
Breaking into the houses of strangers is a necessary and important part of Link’s quests. Nobody will mind if you randomly wander into their house with a sword and shield and start attacking their pots – in fact, they will be happy to share valuable information with you when you do so!
#1: It’s Dangerous to Go Alone
The most important lesson of all. The world can be a dangerous place, so whenever you go on any sort of “adventure” remember to have backup, whether it is a wingman for a social event, a partner for a scuba diving expedition, or a spiky stick for a walk through the slums.
If you can think of any important life lessons taught by the Legend of Zelda that I missed, feel free to mention them in the comments.