Happy Birthday! Who’s birthday? Wouldn’t you like to know. I have a Hey! Listen!, supersized edition for ya.

HEY EVERYBODY. HAPPY MY 21ST BIRTHDAY. Yes, that’s right, I turn 21 when you read this. So, where’s my present? Fine then, I’ll give you one. Here’s another Hey! Listen! for you to enjoy. I am adding something on a somewhat regular basis. If I dig into the mailbag and find that there are 1-3 pieces of mail, I am just going to answer them here. So, that’s where you see the Mailbag Answers at the end. That’s all I have to say. Enjoy what little I have for you again this week. Now, it’s off to party! (Yea, right)

Hey! Listen! The Zelda/Nintendo Report for May 6, 2007

This is my email: James (at) Zeldauniverse (dot) net. This is the purpose: send me stories that you think should be written. You get credit, we all happy. Dig?

Nintendo & Friends

Old School Controllers – Now, I am not the kind of person to take apart controllers, work them around, and make them something else. But, if that’s your cup of tea, then I have the link for you. Someone actually found the time to rip apart a NES and SNES controller, rework it, and make it workable (wirelessly) with a Wii. This makes the Classic Controller pretty much obsolete if you can make this (it also saves you some money if you’ll willing to gut your old controllers). So, check out the link if you are good with wiring and figuring out the internal workings of controllers. I, however, must state that I do not suggest that you DO this unless you have the skills. Perform at your own risk. Once again I find more. The second link is for the Sega Genesis controller, which I found on another site. – First Link Second Link

Going Too Far – Seriously, since when is creating a map in Counterstrike a crime? According to some police type peoples in Texas, it is. They arrested a Texas Senior the other day, sent him to an alternative education facility, and told him he couldn’t march with his class at Graduation. The reason? He created a map of his High School to be played in Counterstrike between him and a couple of friends. They really couldn’t hold the kid with anything, since the police couldn’t find any plans or any weapons in his house. They found swords, but when swords become as powerful as a Lightsaber, then we can talk. Why is it that security heightens after a tragedy for about a month, settles, then picks up again at the next tragedy. Seriously, pick whether or not you are going to be really paranoid or do nothing. – Link

Miyamoto Somewhat Influential – Well, I mentioned last week that Miyamoto was nominated to be a influential person of the year. Well, the announcement came out and he grabbed 92nd of 100. In the user polls, he placed 9th of 100. So, we think he’s more influential than everyone else. Not surprising. – Link

A Touchy-Feely Game – I was reluctant to post this on here, because of the nature of the story. But, since everyone and their mother decided to post it, I guess I will too. Be warned, though, that the link I provide has some (somewhat) adult content, not enough for it to be Not Work Safe, but something your parents might yell at you for. There is a prototype floating around of a game where a couple plays together. By together, I mean, they both wear the controllers. The male wears a special pair of shorts with buttons on both sides, one in the front, one on near his butt, and one on his butt. The female wears a special top with buttons on both sides, one on the shoulder, one on the side of the breast, and one on the breast. Can you see where this is going? The game is just a very sexual version of Pong, where each button on your body has a different shape on it. The screen displays a shape in either blue or pink, and if it’s blue, the girl has to touch the guy. If it’s pink, the guy has to touch the girl. You’ll get it more if you watch the video. It seems interesting, if you like that sort of thing. Plus, if anything, the music is VERY catchy. –

Field Trip to the Uncanny Valley! – Now, I was one of the last people to learn about the so-called Uncanny Valley. For those who were as clueless as I, the Uncanny Valley is pretty much the realm where things that shouldn’t be/look real are. That’s the basic gist of it, however, there is a little more to the subject. Basically, it concerns the fact that robots shouldn’t exist and CG should not look TOO realistic, otherwise, we start to wonder what’s real and what isn’t. The most recent journey into the Uncanny Valley was from an artist named Max Kor, who took it upon himself to create an elf creature for World of Warcraft. However, he never finished the creature in time, but he did end up finishing it. At first glance, the main picture looks like a photograph, but he goes into such detail on how he did it that it makes you wonder if it indeed is CG. You judge for yourself, because I linked it up for ya. – Link

Intraweb Moment/Article of the Week

Well, I actually have an article this week for you to laugh at. It comes from Mexico, actually. Reportedly, a woman down there was being stalked in the game World of Warcraft by another man. The man apparently lived nearby the woman and even let her know his address in-game. He followed her in-game, stopped her from progressing in the game on numerous occasions, and was being a total jerk to this woman. He even told the woman that if her husband was man enough, he would come and take care of him. Well, the woman did indeed send her husband and few friends over to his house, had them beat him up, and even smash his computer. I love the world, there is always something to make me laugh.

Mailbag Answers

ZenZodiac writes:

I have not heard anyone talking about twilight princess time line placement, but wouldn’t it seem logical,that it place in the alternate time line theory, in the time line where Link is sent back form ocarina of time and there is only Zelda.(Because in tp it showed the sages sealing ganondorf away and not the hero) Or could it be that the sealing of ganondorf was just a retelling of the sealing that happened in oot during the final battle. What are your thoughts on this?

James writes:

I believe that the powers that be announced that Twilight Princess takes place years after the child timeline of Ocarina of Time. Meaning, Link went back in time, went to Termina, and never returned. Ganondorf was sealed by the Sages and sent to the Twilight Realm, because he was still technically wondering about, because the future that Link and Zelda gave him never happened. They also claim (I could be wrong) that Ganondorf in The Wind Waker was the one that was sealed at the end of the Adult Timeline. This makes NO sense to me or many, but that’s what they claim.

zelda_geek writes:

For all those people that played Twilight Princess and beat it you know that it was easier than you expected don’t get me wrong I absolutely loved this game and the boss battles are amazing but the final boss battle was pretty disappointing but some what hard. I played through the cave of ordeals which was really hard especially the final stage where you fight the darknuts. That’s where I died. Overalll I would give this a game a 5 out of 5 for being awesome.

James writes:

I will admit, I died A LOT in this game compared to the others before it. But, most of the times I died, it was mainly out of stupidity and it was early in the game. Overall, the game was easy, with the occasional challenge. The two most challenging bosses of the game, in my opinion, were Stallord and Agrorok. Stallord’s first part was annoying just because of those ghosts that blocked his spine. Getting around those were annoying. His second part was a challenge as well, avoiding traps, his attacks, and hitting him the right way. Agrorok was just a challenge due to it being in the air and having to keep grappling around and around and around. But, alas, I rant.

Arturo writes:

Do you think Nintendo is sincerely concerned that Zelda games follow a story? Or at least, are they aware of all these timeline theorizing?

James writes:

First part of the question: They are not really that concerned with the timeline, but they have been trying over the years to implement one. I believe many interviews given it was said that gameplay and graphics rule over story and timeline placement. They get their fair share, but it’s not high on priority. I still don’t think they know themselves where it’s going, but that’s just me. As for the second part: They have to know about the timeline theories. If they know about the speedruns, they HAVE to know about what we think. They probably get a kick about many of the theories we pull out of the air.

If you have a question you would like answered in the Mailbag, be sure to send it in.