There’s little to be found in Zelda games that is not affected by the destinies of both Link and Zelda. Hyrule and its inhabitants are repeatedly caught in the midst of some great battle between the forces of good and evil. Evil rises, and Link and Zelda challenge its oppression. Things change and things repeat themselves. This means that all the other citizens of Hyrule usually have the honor of acting like balls falling wildly down the pachinko machine of destiny.
That said, there’s a number of individuals who seem to weather all storms while also serving the vital and somewhat underappreciated role of supporting Link. These people are the various merchants, shopkeepers, and salesmen who have come to Link’s aid, though typically for the sake of profit.
They are heroes in their own right, I guess you could say, but it’s more apt to describe them as “baffling.” Looking back at nearly every Zelda game, it is hard to ignore how the merchants have been some of the most popular and endearing. While most other characters play the role of either victim or opponent to whatever Hyrule’s current crisis is, the brave warriors of enterprise find and then thrive in a very special middle ground.
These people simply show up in Link’s life, seemingly oblivious or exempt from the dangers at hand, and try their best to sell him stuff. I can’t help but respect their ability to defy destiny and history in pursuit of the almighty rupee. That’s why it almost feels like a requirement to explore how great these characters are at being unintentionally great.
Almost every merchant in the Zelda franchise is fascinating, but for the sake of avoiding writing a book-length article, the focus will be kept to some of my favorites. And, with any luck, I’ll sell you on why they deserve to be part of anyone’s discussions about the best Zelda characters.
A persistent pal who never bugs me
It’s best to start at the beginning. Not at the beginning of the franchise or the timeline, but at the start of my love affair with the series, that being my first time playing my beloved The Wind Waker. It was in this pinnacle of game design and overall human accomplishment that I first met the most ambitious salesman in the series’ long history of strong-willed capitalists: Beedle.
Who else can rock a bowl cut as well as Beedle can?
He was the first persistent salesman I had seen in a video game, “persistent” being the nice way of saying he seemed to stalk and follow me wherever I went. From Nintendo’s perspective, Beedle was merely a useful design feature that gave the player access to items at almost all times, but on my end, Beedle was a fellow sailor of the endless seas. The more I ran into him and his barrel-bonded boat, the more I saw him as the only familiar face that wasn’t shaped like a lion’s head and made of wood.
Countless details about Beedle could be explored and discussed, but the details are not the point when it comes to his friendly fellow. What more can I say about a man who can ignore physics and keep poorly designed airship in the sky by peddling? Or how about his ability to be in dozens of places at once? (That’s what he’s doing, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.) Should I also mention his seemingly infinite number of rupees, which he willingly offers to me in exchange for my unwanted “treasures”? There is an endless amount of speculation that could be focused on Beedle and his life, but at the core of it all, he’s just a man doing what he wants to do.
Got to respect someone willing to backpack it across a fallen and dangerous kingdom.
That’s the key. He’s just a simple man with the simple goals of making a living while making friends. He is always so thankful for my business, with his pronounced “Thank you!” forever being burned into my mind. Whether he’s peddling high above Skyloft, operating a fleet of ships all at once, competing with the other peddlers in Castle Town, or backpacking it across the wide expanse of a once-great kingdom, he does so while well-stocked and wearing a smile. The world might be falling apart all around him, but he won’t let that get in the way of treating his valued costumers well. That’s dedication. Probably a bit of insanity too, but it’s mostly the dedication.
Time is money
Beedle’s the man, and he represents one side of the merchant coin — that side being the drive to make the buying experience pleasant for his customers. Sure, he’s been grumpy at times, dropped a few people out of his flying ship when they didn’t buy anything, but everyone has off days. What about the other side of the coin, though? Well, that side is home to those who treat their work and their businesses with the utmost seriousness. They don’t have time for nonsense, especially the customer’s nonsense. They are doing their best to care for the masses, and sometimes that means dealing with them harshly. Many merchants in Zelda games have needed to take this approach, but none know it and have mastered it better than the pint-sized business-class mastermind, Malo.
Was it unmanned before he found it, or after?
“Buy something, will ya?” That was the first war cry of the merchants in Zelda. Malo only says “buy something.” He’s not asking, and he’s not wasting time or using needless words. He gets down to business, and as far as he’s concerned, everyone should thank him for it — by buying something.
How could I not be a fan of Malo? The first thing we ever watch him do is put his older brother Talo and his friend Beth in their places. They think they know so much, and they try to prove it with a bunch of chatter. He’s not impressed by their empty words or their dishonesty. No, all his life, Malo has focused on seeing results. Failure is not an option for him, and he gets bitter when he sees it in others. Now, that’s not to say he’s heartless. It’s actually the opposite (kind of). He feels a need to help others solve their problems, but the issue is that he sees their biggest problems as being themselves. And he helps with what I can only describe as being the most intense case of tough love ever seen in a Zelda game. Poor Colin, am I right?
It’s this drive to see success in everyone that causes Malo to put so much effort into creating a thriving business — he also pairs this with being the most aggressive and terrifying toddler in Hyrule, but I think that part is mostly for his own entertainment. And being a junior captain of enterprise lets him get away with the harsh hobby. I suppose I need to give him credit for being creative about it. I’m too afraid not to.
Fear a toddler who uses the word “rue.”
Whether you think he’s awesome or a horror-game villain in training, Malo undeniably has what it takes to satisfy the needs of his customers. It’s a skill of his that has served me well. Shields, heart pieces, the Hawkeye, cool-looking (though ultimately useless) armor, and a catchy theme song are the bounties I’ve reaped by helping him see his hard work through to the end. No one, not even Link, might get a thank you from Malo, but that’s only because he doesn’t waste time speaking when he’s busy looking out for his customer’s savings.
A shocking encounter
We have the pleasant and dedicated Beedle, and the abrupt and focused Malo, but there’s one more salesman that has stuck in my memory and conditioned me to keep a watchful eye on all business owners I meet in every game (and some in the real world). You know him, you’re too scared to say you hate him, and he’s quick to point out that no gets a five-finger discount. Ladies and gentlemen, give up for the man who is clearly what Ganondorf checks for under his own bed every night, the Town Tool Shopkeeper from Link’s Awakening.
Seems innocent enough.
When it comes to a list of characters in a specific trope, you can always count on finding a “wild card” among them. This usually means finding a character with a personality that doesn’t align with the others, not a character who can use the dark side of the Force. When I met the Shopkeeper, I didn’t really think anything of him. I assumed his energetic movements and eager smile were the traditional traits of a cliché businessman. I bought the stuff I needed, including the bow, and never interacted with him again — in my first playthrough of the game.
By the time of my second playthrough and tryst across Koholint Island, however, I had heard the rumors about the shopkeeper, and with the same level of foolishness it takes wrestle a Goron, I listened to the legendary bad advice that many of us have heard and given: “See what happens when you steal the bow and go back inside.”
This video by Majora’s Puppet teaches a valuable lesson: Small-business theft often pairs with street justice. Don’t steal.
Upon reentering the shop — well, upon watching the shopkeeper’s lightning reduce Link to ash — I thought to myself, “Why isn’t this guy saving the island instead of me? Why did I steal the bow? Is Marin really going to call me ‘Thief’ now?”
In an instant, this role model for loss prevention specialists everywhere had replaced the raging Cucco as the most unexpected consequence in gaming. When I think about how Koholint Island and its residents were created by the Wind Fish’s dream, I wonder when the Wind Fish met the satanic sales rep that made his subconscious conjure this fiscally inspired nightmare.
A major selling point
You might be less fond of these characters and their fellow entrepreneurs than I am, but perhaps we can all agree that they stand out as characters of merit. It would be great to know the reason behind Nintendo’s fascination with having such memorable merchants. Maybe it’s a self-reflection thing. After all, the developers work hard on these games, and they work equally hard to share their creations. Could Beedle’s “Thank you!” be meant for us and not just Link? Do Malo’s tireless efforts mirror the endless hours of coding, designing, and playtesting? Did Nintendo’s lawyers request that the Town Tool Shopkeeper reflect their views on theft? Perhaps, but whatever their source of inspiration is, let’s just hope that it remains a strong one.
From the mouths of babes.
Zac Pricener
Zac Pricener has been an avid Zelda fan for twenty years. The series has been a source of creative inspiration for him and fueled his desire to become a writer. That desire to write in turn led him to now serve as the Features Manager, Assistant Columns Manager, and Assistant News Manger for Zelda Universe.
by Zac Pricener on October 12, 2020
