Have you always dreamed of being an engineer pulling on the horn and crying out, “all aboard the Spirit Train!” to your heart’s content? Of course you have. Word is traveling fast in the online community that a Spirit Tracks based attraction may be in the works at none other than Universal Studio’s Nintendo World.
What would the attraction look like, and how would it work? According to a rather expensive lead from Tingle’s Times Tribune, all we can gather is ambiguous snippets of detail because it’s still in the conception stage, but apparently it consists of a replica-sized Spirit Train traveling on mysterious glowing tracks woven throughout the park. The train would have the capability of carrying passengers for the ride with a similar calming feel to Disney World’s Jungle Cruise. Insider sources indicate that a beta prototype was already being tested in the Japan location, but Nintendo promptly scratched the idea when tracks began to disappear without rhyme or reason and ominous ethereal figures resembling trains seemed to appear in the park. The beta tester, who is identified by an anonymous witness as Alfonzo, is consequentially reported missing to local authorities after the beta Spirit Train fell off the disappearing bridge in a fantastic crash. He has no surviving family members to speak of.
Such events would obviously be matters of concern for safety with Nintendo and Universal Studios staff, but Nintendo only made a general safety statement when asked what in tarnation was happening at the park. “We can accomplish more when we work toward the same goal, and so we will each continue investing in, evolving, and amplifying our approaches to public safety. As we continue this work, we will prioritize protecting the safety of our patrons, especially those most vulnerable. Thank you for your patience and support for Nintendo World!”
One Universal Studios staff member curiously denied existence of the spooky accident. “Disappearing tracks? Evil trains at Nintendo World? Ridiculous! Nothing but a foolish fairy tale,” states Universal Grounds Caretaker Cole. “Don’t you have some Warp Pass points collecting to do? Run along, now. Nyeeheehee!”
Both Nintendo and Universal Studios staff have declined to make further comment regarding the matter.
