When you think of the Lost Woods in The Legend of Zelda, what do you think about? Do you hear synth tunes as you wander the mist-covered grove? Does the playful tune of “Saria’s Song” float through your mind as you pass through the massive fallen trunks? Or are you haunted by the breeze that blows your torchlight in every direction, casting eerie shadows on the trees as you make your way?
Me? I usually see pixelated, dead trees scattered in every direction with Moblins hurling spears endlessly as Link fights to survive.
Over the years, the Lost Woods has been many things in The Legend of Zelda. At times, the resting place of the Master Sword, or the resting place of the Temple of Time, where the Master Sword itself, is also resting. No wonder we always find Link sleeping at the beginning of these games; everything’s resting. Even the inanimate objects. Wait, is the Master Sword really inanimate? You know what? I digress.
My first encounter with the Lost Woods was here, in the original The Legend of Zelda.
So, when I think of the Lost Woods, I would originally think of frustration. Pure, unadulterated, seething frustration. The above is a simple screenshot of when I already knew things. I already had the answers. This can be one of the tricky things in coming back to an old Zelda game: You already come to the adventure equipped with the answers that will help you on your way.
But, back in 1987, my seven-year-old mind was not equipped with that luxurious foreknowledge. Even Nintendo Power didn’t have the answers for me then, as they wouldn’t start handing out tips and tricks for another year. Yes, I’m that old that I existed before the advent of Nintendo Power, may it rest in peace.
What we did have, though, was this convenient little pamphlet tucked in with the game cartridge at purchase.
Now, before we dive in, would I recommend you go in this direction with your three little hearts and a wooden sword? No. No, I would not.
Are you still here? Are you still determined? Then we’re off!
Take that finely honed weapon, be careful not to give yourself a splinter, and head north! But only one panel, if you please.
Annihilate any Octoroks that happen to cross your path and continue your journey west until you reach water. Carefully dodging the fireballs from the Zola in the river, make your way across the bridge that you see.
What’s that, you ask? What’s a Zola? Ahhh, my uninitiated friend, that’s what we called Zoras back in the day. You know, back before they became the sentient friendly species that game design called for to help you explore any aquatic space.
Moving on. WESTWARD, HO! Do people still say that? Never mind, go west.
Continue until you come to what can basically be described as a grove of dead and withered trees. Do you need healing? There’s a fairy spring two panels up. Refreshed? Let’s go!
From where you entered the dead wood, go one panel south and, taking the high path, go another panel west. Follow the path north and you’re almost there. Now, take one more determined step west.
BEHOLD, WHAT THE MIND OF MIYAMOTO HATH WROUGHT! Congratulations, you’ve made it to the Lost Woods. One panel, you ask? Yes, but this time, you may underestimate what you’ve just walked into. Look at the screenshot again. Here you will face an onslaught of Moblins, so while you try to dodge their spears, which direction will you choose?
All right, before you say it: Yes, I know, it looks like the Moblins are shooting arrows. But if years of playing Zelda has taught me anything, it’s that Moblins brandish spears, not arrows. Bokoblins? Sure, bow and arrows. Bulblins? Yup, also bow and arrows. Moblins? Now you’re just messing with me.
Here’s your real enemy: Which way do you go? Here’s the thing, too: Each time you move north, south, or west, you will be confronted with the same panel and the Moblins will all have respawned. Of course, you can always go east, but that’s just giving up and retreating.
From this point forward, you have to figure out which direction you need to go and in what order, lest you be forever lost in, umm, the Lost Woods. Have you had enough? I’m still here. Do you want to take a look at a map? Again, BEHOLD!
Pretty impressive right? What do you mean the map is crinkled and scrawled on by a child? That map’s probably older than you, and I was a child. You fancy kids with your fancy Google. Anyway, look at the arrows scrawled on there just to the left of the Lost Woods. Can you make them out?
Here it is: north, west, south, west.
Do that, and you will be greeted with the ever famous, “You just solved a Zelda puzzle” jingle.
But did I really do your Link any favors? The one with the wooden sword and three hearts? Probably not, as this will lead you to your first encounter with Lynels. You know, the unstoppable killing machines in Breath of the Wild? Yeah, they’re here too, just in cute pixelated form. Cute, murdering pixelated form.
Did you make it past them? Good job! You’re now in the graveyard, which is really convenient. Why? Because now you’re really going to die. Seriously, don’t try touching the gravestones. I know that you heard the magical sword is here. No, where are you going? No, stop, you can’t even get it before you have like 12 hearts or something. Aaand, doesn’t matter, you’re dead.
So, what are your first memories of the Lost Woods? Do your memories go this far back, or are you taken to another place in Zelda time when you hear the words, “the Lost Woods?”
Oh, and feel free to share my map with whoever you want, because in this case, it really is a secret to everybody.
