In a town called Ordon, there is a young man named Link. Link lives just outside the village to the north in a very cozy-looking home. As a teen, I would find endless entertainment taking my friends on a tour throughout his home, so today I would like to take you, our readers, on just that: a tour through Link’s Ordon home.
The outside looks like it came from a fairytale, made from remnants of an old tree atop a high platform of ground. You need to take a ladder up to reach the front door of the building, which might be inconvenient if coming home with a bag of groceries, but it definitely helps Link keep in tip-top shape!
I’ll start from the very top, the third story — if you can even call it that. There are two platforms above ground level. The highest one is the smallest platform with the sole purpose of it being there for Link to reach the only window in his home. Instead of installing windows on the ground level of the house, Link instead chose to build his home with a ladder system just so he could gaze out the window he already had. Makes sense to me.
(That wasn’t Link talking.)
The second platform has a few knick-knacks here and there aside from just being a pathway to the window. It’s slightly larger, so it holds a bookshelf, some pictures, and either a sack of something or a rock. I’m going to assume it’s a sack, but forgive me as I’m viewing the Wii version of the game and the graphics are a little more askew.
The pictures hung on Link’s wall include a tapestry with goats, a photo of Epona, and a photo of three of the village’s children: Talo, Malo, and Beth. This is quite endearing as it shows us that Link has a fondness for his trusty steed and the children that adore him so. The goats are just a common motif found throughout the village, demonstrating that Link is on top of what’s trending in Ordon.
The lower shelf of the bookcase is loaded with novels, giving us insight that this incarnation of Link is not just a pretty face. He has writing utensils set on the top portion of the shelves, perhaps indicating that some of these books are journals he has written throughout the years. A bookworm, writer, farmer, and swordsman: the total package.
Now we’ve reached the main floor. We’ll be starting from the left of the front door (that would be the right if you’re joining us on the GameCube or Wii U edition; although, let’s be real, is anyone using the Wii U version?). To the left of the door, you’ll see some barrels and crates. The one on top is cracked open just slightly, revealing a bottle inside. It looks like that of a wine bottle. If this is indeed the case, we can only hope that the drinking age in Hyrule is 17 because where I’m from it is most definitely not.
Next to the barrel and crates, there is another bookshelf filled to the brim. On the bottom of the shelf is a vase, unbroken, showing that Link has some self-control over his urges to destroy pottery.
Further to the left is Link’s dining table, equipped with two chairs and a flagon. However, that’s not the only thing on the table. Actually, there are many items scattered across the tabletop, reminding me of the atrocity that is my crafts table. There are cups, plants, and books galore laid across the surface. One book is open, giving us a glimpse at Link’s taste in literature. It is a picture book with goats. Sophistication personified.
Behind the table underneath another tapestry are some more photos. The largest photo is that of Fado, Link’s co-worker over at the Ordon Ranch. Then there is one of a goat, probably his favorite and for the purpose of this article will further be known as Leonardo. Lastly, there is another tiny portrait of Epona, because Link is definitely the kind of guy to have photos of his pet all over the house.
Keep going left and there will be a fire pit with an eternal flame, forever cooking some sort of soup that must have been burnt or gone bad by now. Above that are a set of cooking knives, forks, and spoons. A stove is adjacent to the fire pit as well as the sink and fine china. Past that is another shelf made for spices, dry foods, and firewood. Link has been cooking since before Breath of the Wild, we just didn’t give him the chance to prove it to us.
There’s an archway leading to another portion of the house further left, but we’ll skip over that for now and come back to it momentarily. We still need to view the hanging corn, pitchfork, hose saddle, and buckets that I’m hoping are used to transport water and not… other things. Actually, that’s about all that’s left on the main floor, so let’s go back and explore that final floor.
Go through the archway and you’ll find another ladder leading down into a dark abyss. Relax, it’s just the basement. It’s just really, really dark. Like, advanced darkness. Fret not, for with a lantern, we are able to see a hidden treasure chest that holds Link’s life savings of 50 rupees. That and more shelves littered with crates and bottles; Link, do we need to have a conversation about this? You’d better hope for your and Hyrule’s sake that it’s a bunch of Lon Lon Milk.
And there you have it, a tour of Link’s humble abode, which I’m sure none of you have ever really cared to look around before because everyone besides me was probably, you know, playing the game instead of taking endless detours and invading Link’s personal life. You play Zelda your way, I’ll play it mine.
