The Legend of Zelda TV series retrospective: Episode 4, ‘Kiss ‘N Tell’

When people criticize The Legend of Zelda TV series, there’s often an unfair reason for it: It is too different from the Zelda games that released after it first aired. “This is why Link shouldn’t talk,” the YouTube comments snark. “That fairy is more annoying than Navi,” the Ocarina of Time diehards cry. “I can’t believe they made Link right-handed!” Seriously, you people again?

Regarding the non-canon elements of the TV series, i.e., aspects that are not pulled from The Legend of Zelda video games, they can be hit or miss. While I get far more excited at seeing animated versions of all of the official Zelda creatures than seeing any of the original content produced by the TV series’ writers, I can appreciate them making an effort to make this version of Hyrule a unique and realized place, and this is most evident in “Kiss ‘N Tell.” After all, every Zelda game has a different world and a variety of characters, so why shouldn’t the TV series have its own Hyrule?

Gleeok, stock, and three smokin’ heads

The Gleeok spits fire at Link and Zelda from its three mouths, although our heroes’ evasive skills lead it to only burn itself.

First, though, let’s start with a familiar face (or three). The dragon in “The Ringer” was too generic, and the Gohma encounter in “Cold Spells” was too brief, but now we’re finally getting a boss battle to remember in “Kiss ‘N Tell.” Within the first act, we are welcomed by a three-headed variant of the Gleeok from the original Legend of Zelda game.

Zelda is the first one to tangle with the beast, arriving on the scene after hearing a woman’s screams. “Kiss ‘N Tell” wastes no time getting to the action with Zelda leaping and somersaulting her way around the Gleeok’s fiery breath and hurling an assortment of fruit from her basket into its mouths. The princess’ improvised combat skills stun the Gleeok, allowing time for Link to arrive on the scene.

Link bounces across the Gleeok’s heads, causing some friendly fire as they breathe flames onto each other. He then uses his Crissword to zap the left and right heads out of existence, leaving one remaining. He grabs its tail, but the Gleeok swings him around. Zelda helps out again by throwing a banana peel under its feet, causing it to slip and allowing Link to deliver the final zaps. It’s an enjoyable fight and, this time, lengthy enough to satisfy the viewer.

Another notable trait of the Gleeok is that its heads can talk. We’ve seen Moblins speak in a primitive way, but the Gleeok is more fluent in its speech and feels more like a character (or a trio of characters) than just an obstacle for Link and Zelda to overcome. It spouts a lot of lighthearted dialogue, becoming offended when the maiden calls it a “freak” and complaining of heartburn when swallowing a grapefruit. It makes for a less intimidating encounter than the skirmish with Gohma, but it’s a refreshing take on the show’s antagonists and it is effective in the context of a cartoon aimed at a young audience.

The Gleeok takes a tumble after slipping on Zelda’s banana peel, allowing Link to deal the finishing blow.

Deeler with it

The Gibdo is not only physically strong, but it also has magical powers in the TV series.

The Gleeok is only the start of Link and Zelda’s problems, as once again we are treated to a large variety of new enemies. As the beast fades away, the young maiden is saved and offers Link a kiss as a token of her gratitude. Having pestered Zelda for this particular gesture throughout the show to no avail, Link willingly accepts it from this beautiful stranger. Of course, it’s too good to be true, and as their lips meet and after a flash of light, the maiden reveals herself to be a Gibdo and Link transforms into a humanoid frog.

Like the Gleeok, the Gibdo is capable of full speech, taunting Link for falling into Ganon’s trap. It tries to attack Link, who is still in shock over his new body, before launching its arms at Zelda to try and grab her. Zelda makes quick work of the monster, pulling on its bandage and spinning it until it is sent back to the Evil Jar. The fact that it is able to curse Link upon touch, as well as disguise itself as a human, suggests that the TV series’ version of Gibdos may have magical abilities. Considering the writers had only a limited amount of resources to build their characters and stories upon, it’s another interesting way to expand on the powers of The Legend of Zelda‘s creatures and to differentiate the Gibdo from other monsters.

Later, Ganon appears in Hyrule’s woods to attack Link and capture Zelda, and he doesn’t come alone. After struggling against an Octorok in the previous episode, another one makes a brief appearance here, proving just as strong as ever as it entraps Zelda in its tentacles. With Link unable to fight effectively in his cursed form, the lone Octorok is enough to drag Zelda down to the Underworld.

The series isn’t done with The Adventure of Link references yet as two Deelers try to attack an unconscious Link.

As for Link, who is lying unconscious after the attack, Ganon summons two Deelers (spider-like creatures from The Adventure of Link) and orders them to “take care” of Link. Considering that Ganon later tells Zelda that Link is “spider food by now,” presumably the Deelers were supposed to eat him. They don’t get the chance, however, as Link’s new frog instincts cause him to snatch them with his tongue and swallow them as soon as he wakes up. Aside from causing Link to recoil in disgust at his uncontrollable eating habits, the Deelers aren’t around long enough to cause our hero much trouble, but once again I really appreciate seeing obscure creatures from The Adventure of Link. (This was one of my favorite aspects of “Cold Spells,” too.)

A frog’s life

A maiden is seemingly being held captive by the imposing Gleeok, but Link soon discovers that she is not as she appears.

I’ve glossed over Link’s frog form a few times, but now let’s — ahem — dive right into it. We’ve seen Link take many forms in the games that released following the launch of the TV series, but this is a far cry from the cute bunny form of A Link to the Past, the adorable Deku Scrub form of Majora’s Mask, or the majestic wolf form from Twilight Princess.

As you might imagine, Link isn’t too pleased about his newly gifted amphibious anatomy. He is unable to fight Ganon, finding himself on the receiving end of the evil wizard’s magic blasts more than once. Link is also deeply upset when he sees his new body for the first time in the water’s reflection, tearing up and worrying that he’ll “never be able to face anyone again.” There’s a rare touching moment between Link and Zelda here, where she hugs him and tells him she’ll be his friend no matter what. It’s nice to see a brief emotional moment between the two to break up the usual bickering and banter.

It sounds like Link’s actor, Jonathan Potts, is holding his nose for this performance

Link also finds himself at the mercy of frog-like behavior, too. Not only does he eat Ganon’s arachnid allies, he also can’t resist snatching flies from the air with his tongue. This scares Spryte each time, being a small, flying creature herself, which adds a humorous element when she and Link team up to find a cure for Link’s curse.

Link can scale walls and ceilings in his new form.

Questionable meals and unfashionable looks aside, it’s not all bad news for Frog Link, as he can also take advantage of his new form in a couple of ways. He can leap great heights, allowing him to dodge Ganon’s magic momentarily (though this does cause him to bang his head on tree branches twice during the episode). When Link and Spryte enter the Underworld to rescue Zelda, Link is also seen using his webbed limbs to crawl on the ceiling to take a stealth approach.

With the change in appearance comes a change in voice, too. It sounds like Link’s actor, Jonathan Potts, is holding his nose for this performance, which is probably the most amusing part of this episode for me.

The Hyrule fantasy

The branches of the ironwood tree can not be bent.

With Link green around the gills and Zelda in Ganon’s clutches, Link and Spryte seek wisdom from the ultimate source: the Triforce of Wisdom. So far in the TV series, the Triforce of Wisdom has more lines in “Kiss ‘N Tell” than any of the previous episodes. As always, it only speaks in rhymes, and this, coupled with the cryptic nature of the clues it offers, are aspects that lend themselves well to the many fantasy elements of this episode.

One of these elements comes in the form of a new and original character, the Witch of Walls. The Triforce advises Link and Spryte to seek out the witch as she is the only one wise enough to know the cure for Link’s curse. To find her, Link and Spryte must solve the riddle of a “wall that has no end, beneath the bough that can not bend.”

There is an admirable attempt from the writers to craft a compelling fantasy world.

The wall turns out to be one that seemingly comes to an end but in fact arches into the ground, and the unbendable bough is revealed to be an “ironwood tree.” This is a tree that is presumably made of iron, as when Link hits his head on a branch, there is a strong impact that hurts him. Spryte says, “You can’t bend it, no matter how hard you try.” It’s a small detail in a bigger picture, but it helps make this version of Hyrule unique and is an admirable attempt from the writers to craft a compelling fantasy world.

As for the Witch of Walls, she appears to be a non-human entity who is part of the wall itself, able to perfectly slot in and out of her uniquely shaped hollow. Despite being a flat, marble slab, she looks and sounds like a gaunt old woman, as you’d expect of a witch in a fantasy tale. Also like most witches, she doesn’t seem to like being disturbed, threatening to use Spryte as fairy bait and dismissing Link immediately after she shares her advice so she can return to her wall in peace. Her time in the episode is brief but she does play a crucial part in the plot, and like the ironwood tree, she reminds the viewer that there is more to the world of The Legend of Zelda than the castle, woods, and Underworld (the three most common locations seen until now).

The Witch of Walls is wise and familiar with Ganon’s magic, as well as how to reverse the effects of his spells.

Finally, this episode has obvious parallels with the classic Brothers Grimm fairytale, The Frog Prince. In this story, a prince is turned into a frog by a spiteful fairy, and can only be returned to his human form once he has been kissed by a princess. Similarly, the Witch of Walls tells Link that the only way to lift the spell is to “be kissed by a Princess of her own free will.”

Zelda begrudgingly agrees to kiss her froggy friend, but Ganon attacks before she can do so, determined to keep Link trapped in his new body and Zelda as his prisoner. Spryte, sympathizing heavily for Link as he lies unconscious in Ganon’s lair, kisses his cheek, causing him to transform back into his regular body. As it turns out, Spryte’s father is the king of the fairies, making her a princess. It’s a little strange that she didn’t remember this small fact sooner, but at least we get a hint that there is a whole race of fairies living in Hyrule, which will play a part in an upcoming episode.

Every frog has his day

Spryte played a major role in this episode, too, joining Link on his quest and helping him return back to normal.

If there’s one element of this episode that suffers at times, it’s the dialogue. The characters in this series usually spout puns and witty remarks during tense moments; admittedly, not all of them are great, but they’re usually more considered than Spryte’s reaction to the Witch of Walls: “What is this, Ugly People Day?” The Triforce of Wisdom is particularly grating in this episode too, with the poetic speech feeling very forced (rhyming “advice” with “wise,” for example, is a bit of a reach).

Nitpicks aside, the pace in “Kiss ‘N Tell” is fantastic, and there is a surprising amount of adventure packed into that 15-minute runtime. Link barely has time to breathe as he is thrust immediately into the hectic Gleeok fight, goes through a bizarre bodily transformation, gets attacked by Ganon and more of his minions, goes on a quest with Spryte, and, lastly, has a showdown with Ganon in the Underworld.

What makes this episode so rich is the gratifying blend of recognizable and original elements. As always, Ganon’s diverse army of monsters steal the show and made me feel right at home as a Zelda fan, but it was also fun to watch Link and Spryte’s journey into the outskirts of Hyrule and see what else this world had to offer.