Moments come and go throughout our lives, most of them rather mundane and unmemorable, but trust me when I say that you never forget that brief, chilling moment when you glimpse the true face of evil. This is an evil unlike any other, an evil that haunts your very soul and leaves you scarred for life. No, I’m not speaking of Ghirahim, or Majora, or even Calamity Ganon. This entity is even more sinister than all three of them combined.
That’s right. I’m talking about the dreaded Flower Lady.
So here I am, minding my own business as I bask in Hyrule’s beauty, when this random lady (who I just recently discovered is named Magda) starts urgently cautioning me not to step on her flowers. Being the good citizen that I am, I try my best to respect her request and navigate around her precious plants. However, this proves to be easier said than done, since the lady decided to plant her flowers near a shrine I need to access in order to help save Hyrule. She doesn’t seem to understand that it’s practically impossible to avoid crushing the plants that surround the shrine, so even with all of her desperate pleas, I find myself stumbling over a flower or two.
It’s at this point that her evil side finally rears its ugly head. Like the Incredible Hulk, she morphs into a destructive rage monster, storming across the very same field she so lovingly tended to and thus mowing down countless flowers. A little hypocritical, if you ask me.
And as if running around like a headless chicken isn’t bad enough, what does she do next? Why, she attacks me! Me, the savior that Hyrule has been waiting 100 years for! Where’s the royal guard? Where are the authorities? Does she get arrested? Of course not! She just proceeds to thrash me senseless and then throw me on the ground like yesterday’s garbage.
After the pain and suffering is over, I am left reeling in shock. I have no idea what just happened to me. As I get up, all I see is her, just standing there as if she did nothing wrong. But let me tell you, she definitely accomplished her goal: with her eyes boring into me, threatening another brutal punishment if I cross her again, I manage to wind my way through the flower maze without touching a single petal. In the end, her rage and hypocrisy won the day.
Now, whenever I turn off my game and decide to spend some time out in nature, I gaze at the wildflowers and am transported right back to that infamous day. They all remind me of her.
The Flower Lady.
Pure evil.
