Why is it so hard to choose what to eat, even when you are as empty as an unoccupied bottle? And why is it even worse when you are with someone who is just as indecisive as you? It is an occurrence that I know all too well when it comes to a night in with my husband. Do we go out to eat? Do we get takeout? If so, what shall we order? What if I want a Chinese (like I do pretty much every day) but my husband is awkward and wants the cheapo pizza he seems to be having an affair with? These are the questions that haunt me when the weekend approaches.
As the hanger takes over and tempers start to rise, it seems inevitable that one wrong word could be the difference between going to bed with a full or hollow stomach. We have all been there but thanks to a little Facebook inspiration and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, food feuds are not only a thing of the past in my household, but it is also deliciously entertaining. The objective is simple: Choose two or more characters who each represent a different restaurant/takeout. Once the pawns have been chosen, set them to the highest CPU level, sit back and watch them battle it out to decide what tasty fate is in store.
So here we are. It is a Sunday afternoon and the ghost of the weekend is slowly fading away to the realization that Monday is just a sunrise away. As always, my husband is ravenous for a pizza, and I for a Chinese. To celebrate the 35th anniversary of Super Mario Bros., it only seemed fitting to choose everyone’s favorite Italian plumber to represent pizza and, to give a The Legend of Zelda twist, I wanted to see how the red-hatted mushroom lover would fair against the notorious King of Thieves.
In keeping with the Super Mario Bros. essence, the chosen battleground of the Mushroom Kingdom accompanied by the Super Mario Bros. “Ground” theme was a perfect combination for the Crossover Battle of Food. With only two lives to spare and no help from the classic Super Smash items, Ganondorf proved his mighty strength by delivering blow after blow of power and knocking Mario off of the map. Once respawned, however, Mario was all about Super Jump Punches and quickly evened the odds with only 6% damage to his last life. With the odds evened out, Ganondorf fought back with a malevolent vengeance and despite Mario’s best efforts, he was just no match for the wicked man with the evil eyes. Game! Chinese, I mean Ganondorf, wins!
Moral of the story: Next time you and your friends or significant other cannot come to an agreement with food, just resort to Super Smash violence. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Be sure to check out the rest of our articles from Super Mario Week, our weeklong celebration of Super Mario Bros.’ 35th anniversary!
