Honey, I Ate The Princess
Ah…here we arrive at a dungeon that the child in me ten years ago cringes in horror over. Yes, this was one of the tougher dungeons for me as a kid, which surprised me today when I blitzed through it in a little over an hour. Inside Jabu-Jabu Link makes one of his connections with the people of Hyrule. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that the first people you truly seem to care about in the story are young girls such as Zelda, Malon, and Ruto. I suppose Miyamoto did this to try and build the relationships that people still to this day argue over on the Internet, at conventions, or even while playing. Either that or he was a pervert.
The Zora, a lovely and strangely polite aquatic race, are in need of Link’s assistance. However, unlike the Hylian royalty, the Zora are oddly hospitable to Link’s entrance to their domain, as shown by his meeting with King Zora, who is distraught over his daughter’s disappearance. After Link uncovers that Zora’s daughter, Ruto, is inside Jabu-Jabu’s belly, King Zora grants him entrance in a hilarious sequence that resembles some of my larger friends making room on their couch for me to sit, accompanied by sounds resembling a frog’s mating call. After this minute-long cut scene, Link finds himself in the presence of the Zora deity, Lord Jabu-Jabu, whereupon he is eaten along with a sacrificial fish.
Surprisingly, instead of a Game Over screen, Link is unharmed. The same, unfortunately, could not be said for the fish. Venturing forth Link meets the most annoying of people, Princess Ruto, who demands to be carried for no adequately explained reason through the temple. Link, who is mute and can thus not disagree, is forced to perform this grueling and incredibly humiliating task as he progresses through the dungeon.
Now, interestingly enough, something in this dungeon causes a dynamite shift in the player’s relationship with Link. And it begins with Ruto, who at first is almost as single-minded as Link to recover the third Spiritual Stone. The player sees their reflection, a person who wants what Link wants, though for completely different reasons. Ruto’s desires for the Zora Sapphire are to keep an heirloom from her mother safe, while Link desires it to rescue her and the land from danger.
Jabu-Jabu’s Belly is interesting, but I feel it doesn’t make use of the theme very well. I would have loved to stray into further regions of Jabu-Jabu’s anatomy (not where you’re thinking, perverts) such battling the heart and lungs which could also have been affected by the spell Jabu-Jabu’s brain is under during the boss battle. The big fish could have survived it, after all Lord Jabu-Jabu lives on even without his brain, perhaps suggesting that religion requires no brains whatsoever! Ah, the complex underlining themes that so emerge in the most simplistic places…it’s mind-boggling!
Okay, less stupid jokes about brains. Link needs to get back to Hyrule Castle and give Zelda the Spiritual Stones! Off we go!
Ruto reminds Link that, while Navi is incredibly annoying, at least he doesn't have to carry the fairy around like a spoiled fish princess.
