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    Homophobic Parents Dangerous?
    • Hey, I was reading the news this morning about a couple here in the UK who were refused a license to foster children, as they had homophobic views. According to them, they couldn't tell a child that a homosexual lifestyle is acceptable/normal. This was taken to court, and that court ruled that they could not foster children because of this fact. This got me thinking, is it dangerous for children to live in homophobic households? I personally see from both points of view, as I strongly believe no couple should be barred from having children unless they are abusive, but at the same time, repressed sexuality could have serious health effects, such as depression, and high chronic (long term) stress, which in turn leads to all sorts of negative health issues. I know this as a psychology student. What are your views?


      Previously called Ganondorf1234.
      Have the complaints about SS graphics died down yet?
      My BA character(s):Anahei
    • The court were right not to let them foster. There are many more tolerant people who want to foster. This couple were very religious and probably would have tried to shove their beliefs down the children's throat. I'm not against religion but I don't think children should be indoctrinated with it.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Poe Princess Mara ().

    • People have a right to have their own children, and to bring their children up with whatever views they wish, assuming those views do not implicate anything illegal. But being foster parents is not a right; foster parents are not entitled to raise their foster children however they wish. They are granted the authority to care for a child by the state, and as such must raise them in accordance with that authority.

      Personally, I don't think this should necessarily be a dealbreaker, but since there's a substantial possibility that some of the children passing through the foster children are homosexual I certainly can agree that their interests should be protected. It's really hard to say how this protection should be enforced, though. Certainly barring people based on their religious beliefs violates their religious rights in some way.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by LegendofLex ().

    • Poe Princess Mara wrote:

      The court were right not to let them foster. There are many more tolerant people who want to foster. This couple were very religious and probably would have tried to shove their beliefs down the children's throat. I'm not against religion but I don't think children should be indoctrinated with it.


      In this day and age, I think that its only the religious who have homophobic views, or the extremely religious anyway. If I'm right, this particular couple were traditionalist Christians, which basically means they follow the Bible down to the last letter. I definitely agree with you when it comes to indoctrination, I believe that's a huge problem in the world today. Young children are incredibly influenced by their parents, due to maternal attachment, and the idea of learning through observation (social learning theory). I think that from an early age, religious education should be an important part of the curriculum, to help teach children about all faiths, and then let them make a choice. Of course, parents would argue that it takes control away from them, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.


      Previously called Ganondorf1234.
      Have the complaints about SS graphics died down yet?
      My BA character(s):Anahei
    • Lex wrote:

      I don't have the source, so unfortunately I can't comment any more specifically on the situation...
      Is it "homophobic" in the sense of just not being able to accept homosexuality or in the sense of actively hating homosexuals? There's quite a big difference.


      It was the former, but that is still a perpetuated form of prejudices, it's simply more subtle.


      “Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope," he answered. "Just a fool's hope, as I have been told.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

    • Avalanchemike wrote:

      It was the former, but that is still a perpetuated form of prejudices, it's simply more subtle.

      Everybody has prejudices, though. And I mean everybody. People shouldn't be excluded from the system just because of their beliefs about cultural norms - there should be documented examples of how they as individuals would be bad foster parents. It's not like everybody who holds certain views about certain groups or individuals treats those groups or individuals poorly as a result.

      Hell, this seems a bit prejudiced in and of itself, as if people who don't believe in homosexuality (regardless of their other merits) would automatically be bad parents because of it.

      The post was edited 2 times, last by LegendofLex ().

    • Lex, I agree with you on principle. Just because someone's homophobic or racist or whatever doesn't necessarily meand they're gonna raise their child that way or be horible parents.

      However, kids are easily affected. I had an adoptee on ZU a few years back whose parents were racist (far from KKK but still didn't really digg blacks) and this person who was in the early teens couldn't help but think there probably was something to the parents' opinions because otherwise they were smart and nice people, why would they be wrong about the blacks?

      So basically... if you have a chance to make sure a child gets a good home, why take a risk?
    • It's not prejudiced to assume they'd be poor parents to a child who was a homosexual though, nor is it prejudiced to assume that their beliefs of "homosexuality is wrong" would be passed onto any children they foster thus perpetuating the hatreds that a minority group has to suffer.

      For that same reason we do not allow racists to be foster parents, because they perpetuate hate.


      “Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope," he answered. "Just a fool's hope, as I have been told.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

    • I my self am not Homosexual, But i have a few friends who are and i support them and i do not think of them as any different as my self. I am accepting of all creeds, and sexual orientations. I grew up with a single mother and Abusive step fathers (My current one is very nice and generous) So i have more feminine views on somethings perhaps. But I think it is not right for a child to be brought up in a prejudice environment

      I apologize if my views offend anyone

      The post was edited 1 time, last by 齐天大圣 ().

    • I still don't think that assessing one's ability to be a good foster parent should be contingent on generalizations. Sure, there are some people who believe that homosexuals are the scum of the earth and aren't worthy of love, but there are also some who are accepting of and defend homosexuals even if they don't believe the behavior is morally in the right.

      I apply the same standards to myself; I don't vote for political offices based on single issues. Even though I think abortion is the worst human rights violation ever to be conceived by mankind, if I think that someone is a good person for the job they'll get my vote regardless of their stance on the issue.

      I wouldn't say that I'm absolutely not in favor of barring people from the foster care system based on their beliefs, just that I don't think it should be done in a generalized way but on a more individually assessed basis. This may or may not be relevant to this case; as I said, I don't know it well enough.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by LegendofLex ().

    • A child is not going to understand "I do not believe in what you do, but support you" children know "right" and "wrong" and if they're raised in an environment where the term "wrong" is used in association with homosexuality it will be something that stays with them throughout their life and it will be something they will struggle to get over, particularly if they themself are a homosexual and must live with the pangs of guilt throughout their lives. It is the responsibility of the state to ensure this does not happen to these children or any children, and it cannot take chances with this.

      They're being raised (by proxy) by the state and the state is not allowed to hold views such as "homosexuality is wrong" or "black people smell funny," and these are values deeply ingrained in the core value systems of many states (For example, Britain, where this case is occurring, and Canada (Which is stated very simply in section 15 of the CCRF: "Equality rights: equal treatment before and under the law, and equal protection and benefit of the law without discrimination.") for that reason it's a very simple case: "No, you cannot be allowed to do this."


      “Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope," he answered. "Just a fool's hope, as I have been told.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

    • Just putting it out there Mike, that technically states do put out the vibe that homosexuality is wrong. Since full equal rights are not granted (marriage, etc), that would then equate to a child as saying homosexuality is wrong and should not be condoned. So therefore, the state is "fostering" this mentality. So it should not matter whether or not a foster family thinks homosexuality is wrong. So long as they will not be abusive in any way towards the child/children and instead will love the child as one of their own, and nurture them.


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      The post was edited 1 time, last by ERROR372 ().

    • Lex wrote:

      I don't have the source, so unfortunately I can't comment any more specifically on the situation...
      Is it "homophobic" in the sense of just not being able to accept homosexuality or in the sense of actively hating homosexuals? There's quite a big difference.


      Not being able to accept people who can not choose the way they were born is wrong! People can not help being born homosexual, just the same way people can not help being born Black.
      Since the foster children could end up homosexual, bisexual or transsexual, it would not be beneficial for them to grow up with such foster parents.

      Even if all (or most) people are biologically able to have children, it does not mean that they should be allowed to keep them. Homophobia is ignorance, and parents should not be teaching their children ignorance.

      People should accept varieties among humans. Even if they are not actively hating homosexuals, the fact that they can not accept it is not good for the future (and present) generations.
    • That's largely because many nations are stuck in the middle ages. Britain is not one of these nations and grants numerous rights towards civil partnerships between homosexuals. Not as many as marriage, if I remember correctly, but I doubt it will be long before the push for full equality in that regards happens.

      Regardless, telling someone that the colour of their skin is the wrong one IS harmful, telling someone that because of their genitals they are a lesser being IS wrong, telling someone that the fact that they love someone who happens to share the same gender as them IS abusive. That's what people are doing when they say "I do not support homosexuality." They're saying "It is wrong for you to love the way you do."


      “Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope," he answered. "Just a fool's hope, as I have been told.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

    • It should be barred.
      I've now had to move to another country to try escape the abuse of my family.

      I knew what sexuality was when I was thirteen, and from that, knew I was a lesbian at age eleven.
      And then since twelve, can now honestly state since that year, the rest of my life up until now ( twenty-two) at home was full of torment, psychological bullying, mental and verbal abuse, etc.
      I've lived briefly on the streets, and had very bad cases of homophobic bullying, a major incident a few years back that I'll not name, and tried to kill myself repeatedly and then afterwards, when I learned how literally painful it was (and didn't dare try it again for some time) made obvious attempts to gain sympathy via self harming just to know my parents cared. But it was essentially "You're gay, you deserve it LOL."

      And that was even before I came out - all of those years were based on pure scepticism.
      As far as I'm concerned, homophobic parents should be barred from having any children, given how relatively large the chances are to have a gay child - which is more than you think.

      I've seen and known people who've been through similar things I have either get killed or successfully kill themselves. And I've known people and friends back where I come from get honour-killed by friends and family for being gay.

      That said - my brother, who states that he hates gays enough to want to find them and beat them up, or states they all deservedly get aids and die, etc, must be wiped off the face off the planet and is a choice - he upon my coming out said "whatever. Come let's go to blockbuster and rent a game."

      And the most vocal of gay rights activists - specifically for those for young LGBT youths with homophobic families, were once in that group of homophobic parents, but time and respect has helped them change their view, and now champion equality within families.

      People can surprise you.
      Just not often.
    • That depends on whether or not they ever get violent because of their beliefs. They can hold whatever belief they want, and it's not illegal. If they go out and physically or emotionally abuse people due to their beliefs, it's illegal.

      My parents and granparents are very much against homosexuality, but they're still good people. I'd say unless the kid winds up being homosexual, or the parents condone violence because of their beliefs, there's no more harm than normal.


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    • That's not what this is about at all Chad; you're entitled to freedom of expression, to freedom of conscious, but you are not entitled to share or enforce those beliefs onto children who are wards of the state. Yes, it is inevitable that views will be passed on to children, but that is why it is so critical that these children should not be subjected to these views.

      You can do whatever you wish with your own children, provided it's within the bounds of the law - there are many more standards for children of the state.

      ---------- Post added at 02:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:10 PM ----------

      Chad wrote:

      My parents and granparents are very much against homosexuality, but they're still good people. I'd say unless the kid winds up being homosexual, or the parents condone violence because of their beliefs, there's no more harm than normal.


      Yes, but there is always the chance that a child they have COULD be, that is where the harm comes from, you cannot just tell right away whether or not they are or aren't. For some people it is evident very early in life and for others it is not.

      The point is, if a child hears "homosexuality is wrong" they will continue that belief into adulthood. That is perpetuating hatred, like it or not.


      “Gandalf put his hand on Pippin's head. "There never was much hope," he answered. "Just a fool's hope, as I have been told.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

    • SD, I'm very sorry to hear your story. Just horrible. On the other hand, you're living proof that even though your life is ****ing horrible you can still turn it around live your life in a way that makes yu happy. Also (on a much less serious note) I never knew we were the same age. Kewl.

      As far as I'm concerned, homophobic parents should be barred from having any children, given how relatively large the chances are to have a gay child - which is more than you think.

      In a perfect world, it would be like that. However, I can't say I support taking away anyone's child just because of opinion, that's just wrong. I mean, as wrong as the parents may be, I could never inflict such emotional pain on them, nobody deserves that. Except for parents that do not care for their child but then again they wouldn't care if someone took it away in the first place so...
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Hombre de Mundo ().