Zelda Wiki
    Phantasmo the Magnificent
    • Name: Hubert L. Garrett
      Nickname/Alias: Phantasmo the Magnificent
      Occupation: Student at a renowned magic university
      Apparent Age: 21
      Gender: Male
      Race: Human
      Height: 1.78 m [5’10”] (2.29 m [7’6”] with hat)
      Weight: 83 kg [183 lbs]
      Eye Color: varies (dull brown by nature)
      Hair Color/Style: varies (dark blonde by nature)

      General Appearance:

      If it’s indeed true that the clothes make the man, then Phantasmo is probably closer related to Cologne Cathedral than any other human being. The complex system of spires and flying buttresses certainly manages to inspire a certain kind of awe. His hat, dark blue with complex patterns of gold (probably fake), has been the subject of three architectural studies.

      Aside from his robes and his hat, he usually wears a pair of brightly-coloured boots with curly points.

      Hidden within all this is a body of a young man. His gut shows subtle but unmistakable signs of occasionally having a drink too many, but other than that most would consider him good-looking (most people agree he’s abusing his magic powers to achieve this, though Phantasmo himself objects to the word “abuse”). Generally, he’ll have whatever hair style is currently fashionable, and changes his eyes to match. He will not accept any notion that there might be more worthwhile things he could be using his eldritch arcane powers for.


      Like most wizards, Phantasmo owns a wand. He claims it was carved from a branch of the oldest tree in the world after it had been blasted loose by a lightning bolt in the worst storm in living memory. Inquiries on what happened to the fourth leg of his parlour table, which curiously was the exact same length as the wand, have so far gone unanswered.

      A wizard’s wand or staff is used to channel magic spells. It’s entirely possible to cast spells without one, it’s just that bringing a staff or wand into the process is like bringing a row of trebuchets into the process of throwing rocks. It should be expected, then, that Phantasmo’s wand is by far his most dangerous weapon. What might be less expected is the brick tied to the end. While this makeshift flail has its downsides, including the ever-present risk of its wielder ending up with a face full of brick, it’s effective enough for Phantasmo not to use anything else.

      When not in use, Phantasmo hides his wand somewhere in the byzantine labyrinth of his robes.

      In addition to his wand, Phantasmo also owns a large antique sword. So far, his attempts to lift the weapon high enough to swing it have proven futile, and it’s generally kept in a conspicuous place in his apartment.



      Carried Possessions:

      Phantasmo typically carries a few bottles containing brightly-coloured potions. They are unusual as far as potions go in that they taste like various kinds of fruit juices and other completely mundane liquids and have no effects whatsoever. They are most definitely not for show.

      In addition, he tends to carry a wallet. He never allows himself to be unable to afford at least three beers.

      Finally, Phantasmo makes sure he has a spare brick or two just in case. The clear correlation between Phantasmo getting new bricks and bricks going missing from the wall around the university campus is probably a coincidence.


      Phantasmo knows a decent selection of magical spells. Aside from his spells to improve his appearance (a Dispel Wrinkles charm, in the end, is more cost-effective than anti-wrinkle cream), he knows some surprisingly destructive spells. If it produces enough lens-flares and bloom and other fancy graphic affects, Phantasmo will learn it. Since the most destructive spells tend to look the most impressive, Phantasmo can actually cause some serious devastation, provided he has the energy to cast his spells and has enough time to actually charge up his spells. Regarding the latter, it takes him (on average) five minutes to charge up a spell if he’s concentrating. He’s never concentrating.

      Spell list:

      Meteor Shower (500 MP, > 6 min. charging time): several large meteors are summoned from the sky to crash down across an area of up to one square kilometre.

      Column of Flame (440 MP, > 5 min. charging time): A large column of fire is created. It incinerates anything in a 60-metre radius, and can reach a hight of hundreds of metres.

      Blast of Light (560 MP, > 7 min. charging time): A powerful beam of light vaporizes anything in front of Phantasmo. After 100 metres, the beam starts growing significantly weaker; at about 500 metres it’s practically gone.

      Dispel Wrinkles (7 MP, ±10 seconds charging time): Wrinkles and other blemishes are removed from the skin, in an area of 250 square centimetres.

      [When Phantasmo is at full energy, he has 580 MP. For reference, a basic weak fireball spell is 20 MP]

      Battle Strengths:

      Phantasmo’s main strength is the sheer destructive power of his magic. If he actually manages to launch a spell, it’s going to pack a punch. Possibly a very powerful punch. Maybe a city-block-levelling punch.

      Besides that, his makeshift flail can be surprisingly useful. Due to the blunt nature of the weapon, armour does fairly little to cushion hits, and the unusual nature of the weapon can give Phantasmo the element of surprise, if nothing else.

      Battle Weaknesses:

      When using magic, Phantasmo tends to be slow. In an average fight, he’s not going to have the time to actually fire off one of his spells, aside from spells like Dispel Wrinkles. Dispel Wrinkles, incidentally, has never in the history of magic been of any use at all whatsoever in battle. We hope this fact does not surprise you.

      Also, being a wizard, Phantasmo is squishy. Very squishy. He really should get around to learning a shield spell one of these days, if he knows what’s good for him (he doesn’t, incidentally).

      Finally, Phantasmo is a craven coward. He’s likely to run from danger if given half the chance. He’s sure to run if given an entire chance.


      Phantasmo the Magnificent talks big. Very big. If he was half as good as he claimed to be, he could conquer the universe on a rainy Sunday afternoon and still have time for a few beers before dinner. Hist actual list of accomplishments, on the other hand, seems to be a bit lacking. Universal conquest isn’t on the list. Indeed, any kind of conquest in the literal sense of the word seems to be absent, whereas his most impressive figurative conquest is a spot at a renowned university of magic, a conquest that mostly involved lots of grovelling to his rich parents.

      His main pastimes include showing off his flashier spells to audiences, drinking lots of alcoholic beverages, praising himself, and hitting on girls. He cannot, for the life of himself, explain his lack of popularity.

      Phantasmo is usually accompanied by his cat, (a five-year-old white cat of mixed breed going by the inventive name “Cat”). Cat is capable of scratching and biting foes, though he usually prefers scratching and biting Phantasmo.

      Phantasmo claims he is capable of talking with Cat. Those who’ve seen him do it claim Phantasmo is nutters. Because Phantasmo doesn’t like looking like a loon, he usually only talks to Cat in private, or in very dire situations.


      If there’s one thing Phantasmo loves, it’s attention, especially of the admiring kind. He’ll go a long way to get people to praise his name.
      He’s also rather fond of the ladies. Inexplicably, this fondness always seems to be one-sided.
      Alcohol is another thing Phantasmo has a soft spot for. He can hold his liquor better than most people. Unfortunately, he always seems to overestimate just how well he can hold his liquor.
      Talking about his own supposed greatness is another favourite of Phantasmo. He doesn’t realize he’s the only one that really wants to hear it. If he did realize, he wouldn’t care.
      But most importantly, Phantasmo is a great big fan of Phantasmo. The whole world means nothing compared to Phantasmo as far as Phantasmo is concerned. What a prick.

      Phantasmo will go on at length about how he loves the excitement of adventure. If he’d wear pants under his robes, they would spontaneously combust at this terrible lie..
      He’s a lot more honest about his hatred for work. Arguably, this is a form of bigotry, since he hates something he’s never had any kind of encounter with.
      He hates any town that lacks brick structures for reasons relating to his own personal safety.
      He absolutely loathes it when people aren’t paying attention to him.
      And he has a curious and inexplicable hatred for midgets wearing yellow vests.

      As a man who lives on the attention of others, Phantasmo’s greatest fear is being ignored. As long as people keep paying attention to him, he has something to live for. The second people stop paying attention to him, he might as well be dead.
      Danger in general is also a fear of Phantasmo. If he can at all help it, he’ll stay very far away from monsters and battles and the like. If he senses danger, he’ll run if at all possible.
      Finally, he has a certain fear of losing his pointy hat. He is, after all, a wizard, and what is a wizard without the hat?

      A long and detailed study has been conduced into the matter of Phantasmo’s virtues. So far, it has found nothing.

      A rather shorter and less detailed study has been conducted regarding Phantasmo’s vices. The main ones appear to be cowardice, vanity, womanising, arrogance, laziness, alcoholism, shallowness, deceit, selfishness, egotism, and stealing bricks.

      Phantasmo likes talking about how dark, troubled and above all mysterious his past is. None of it is true. What is true, is that he was born Hubert Lester Garrett on a fairly average evening in May to two loving and affluent parents whose main vice was probably the face that they were just a bit too prone to give young Hubert what he wanted. He had a fairly normal childhood for someone in his station. He played with toys, went to school, had a few friends, and all that jazz.

      He showed an interest in impressing people and being flashy from a fairly early age, so it was unsurprising that he focused mostly on magic-related subjects in high school. He was a competent but not excellent mage, and his academic results were hindered by his refusal to try and learn any useful but non-flashy spells. He’d have failed high school in the end, but fortunately for him, his parents bribed a few important people, getting him his diploma. His parents’ fortune also got him into a university of magic, which is where he finds himself today. His academic results are still mediocre at the best of times, and he’s definitely one of the older students that still hasn’t graduated.

      Post by lmno216 ().

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