Woah, this is the first treasure that's actually had anything inside of it...

You open the chest. You deliver the final item of the quest. You slay the ferocious mini-boss, prompting the classic fanfare to ring. You know you’re in for something good. The precision of the Hero’s Bow. The girth of the Biggoron Sword. The sheer magnitude of the Megaton Hammer. These are the items that have defined gameplay for generations of Zelda players. But for all of the epic items that the Zelda creators have given us… some outliers exist. These are the wannabes, the items that just didn’t make the cut.

10. Circus Leader’s Mask (Majora’s Mask)

Circusleadermask

This item could have been very useful–it stops the crazed Gorman Brothers from ruthlessly assaulting Link and Cremia on their quest to deliver milk. There is only one problem, however: the only way to get this mask is to have already completed the milk delivery! By taking what could have had a nice function and making it completely obsolete, the Circus Leader’s Mask deserves the 10th spot for the lamest item around. Just don’t tell Mario and Luigi.

9. Fairy Ocarina (Ocarina of Time)

Given to you in one of the most heartfelt moments of OoT, this item could have potentially been a relic of lost childhood, forgotten dreams, and the anguish of losing a beloved friend. However, Link immediately discards it when he gets a shinier ocarina from Princess Zelda. Sorry, Saria. We still appreciated it.  It does have a cooler fate in the manga: Ganondorf crushes it after realizing it is not the true Ocarina of Time. That would have been preferable to it just disappearing from your inventory.

Woah! I'm only going to keep this for a few days. But thanks!

8. Heart Piece (Twilight Princess)

Heart

 If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. While the game most likely justified splitting the Heart Container into fifths due to the high amount of Heart Pieces in the game, the change challenged one of the most satisfying formulas in all of Zelda: it just takes four. This was the golden rule until Twilight Princess, and it’s been the golden rule for every game after. It’ll be interesting to see if the Zelda series ever shakes up the Heart Piece equation again or if they will stay, as the community largely prefers it, quadratic.

7. Goddess’s Harp (Skyward Sword)

harp

The timing of the Wind Waker. The route memorization of the Ocarina. The placement of the Harp of Ages. The  decision-making for the Rod of Seasons. We’ve come to expect a small amount of strategy when it comes to the use of our Zelda instruments,  and the Goddess’s Harp only gave us complete chaos with our Wii Remotes. Oh well, at least it eventually worked.  Can’t say the same about arranging those Boss Keys.

6. Bullet Bag (50) (Ocarina of Time)

bbThe only occasion where this is not lame is for the people with extremely bad aim. While the slingshot is pretty useful for young Link, very seldom is there a reason to use more than five bullets in a single session. The only place where it is conceivable to deplete this many bullets is in the shooting gallery, where you receive unlimited shots.

You clearly have no problem aiming, so here's 10 extra shots!

You shoot with perfect precision! You probably need more bullets.

5. Ooccoo (Twilight Princess)

The Ooccoo does its best Farore’s Wind impersonation, except for one tiny flaw: it does not allow us to return to the point of the dungeon where we warped out! If we wanted to escape, we’d save and quit. Plus, Ooccoo’s are kind of freaky–why does its baby have wings attached to his head?

I wonder if Tingle thinks we're weird.

“I wonder if Tingle thinks we’re weird.”

4. Golden Scale (Ocarina of Time)

scaleIt’s the prize for catching a heavy fish. The only problem is… we don’t need it for anything! Diving deep can be accomplished similarly through the use of the Zora Suit and Iron Boots. While acquiring it unlocks the Sinking Lure, the device is prohibited by the owner in competition and thus is just as useless as the scale that earned it.

3. Amber Relic (Skyward Sword)

Amber_Relic_(Skyward_Sword)This item is useful in the sense that it’s possible to create powerful items from it. The not-so-useful part? We are forced to read a description about what it does every time we start up the game! Nintendo, what were you thinking?! Seriously. For all of the perplexing questions the series has asked over the years, this is the one that demands the biggest answer.

2. Slingshot (Twilight Princess)

A key item in OOT turned out to be a complete dud here. The fact that it received an almost perfect replacement in the form of the Gale Boomerang in the first temple did not help matters. While its ultimate purpose is to stun enemies, there are so many other items designed to slay them that its function is quickly forgotten.

This kid was also excited about the N-Gage

This kid was also excited about the N-Gage.

1.  Cane of Somaria (A Link to the Past, Oracle of Ages)

Expecting a vicious item to vanquish foes? How about an item that can create blocks?  Nothing screams anticlimactic like poofing a block into existence so it can be pushed around. While puzzle lovers appreciate its presence in the series, it’s difficult to imagine Link feeling too confident about dragging this into battle.

425px-Smog_(Oracle_of_Ages)

Related Topics
  • Frederik

    I think you forgot the Gust Jar from skyward sword

    • Deeoh

      Gust jar wasn't that bad

    • heroofmask

      accually it was the gust bellows it blew ot air the gust jar in mc sucked in

  • amichael84

    The Cane of Somaria created blocks, BUT they could explode if you used the cane a second time after laying the block. Still not a powerful weapon, but makes it not as lame.

  • LegendofNeil

    The Cane of Somaria is a useful tool. Not all items have to be a weapon, as long as they have some useful and imaginative functions. The cane could be used to find a path through invisible floors, activate floor switches, and in LttP, could launch a 4-way blast be remote activation, allowing you to hit enemies and switches from a far (in more precision and time than a bomb).

    Now where’s the Spinner on this list? And the fairy boots from Zelda II? And the book from Zelda I? The Book of downgrading the wand?!

    • tom

      The Spinner was awesome! What are you talking about?!

      • RPH1

        I really enjoyed riding that thing. I looked like Shawn White for the only time in my life.

    • Vlen

      the spinner was fun though, and completely necessary to kill a boss.

  • anonymoose

    i think they mixed up the order on some of these items. clearly a mask you use to beat an event ONLY getting it when you beat that event makes it the #1 most useless, not a cane that can create and explode blocks.

    • Vlen

      yeah but consider how many times you have to redo things in majora's mask and say you want a good ol' bottle of Chateu before the majora fight.

  • JosephCross

    Twilight Princess’s Spinner, anyone?

    • Patrick

      okay it was pretty useless after you finished the Desert Dungeon, but it was great fun while you've been in there and the boss battle was epic

    • Archer of Light

      The spinner is actually useful for traversing the desert. The Spinner is also PERFECT for fighting the snow wolfos too! It worked wonders in the mansion.

      The spinner is good for ice, snow, sand, and rails.

  • Sam

    How come the spinner from Twilight Princess is not on this list?

    • MikeL

      Because it was actually a pretty awesome item, just criminally underutilized.

  • Matt

    No spinner?

  • Zero

    What about the Bug-Catching Net from A Link to the Past. due to it also being Link’s Joke Item in Nintendo Gamecubes version of Soul Calibur II.

    • Michelle

      Really? The net in a link to the past is incredibly useful because you can catch fairies and bees and store them in the bottles to use at a later time. Not lame at all.

      • James

        And you can use it to beat Aghinim, twice.

    • MikeL

      The bug net is not bad in any way, it's used to catch the only thing you ever really might need to put in a bottle in this game and it's the best weapon against Agahnim.

  • ANUB1S

    The golden scale does enable you to acquire something you can’t get without it: a Heart Piece, and THAT’S IT. Once you’ve gotten the scale, go to the Lakeside Laboratory, jump into the tank and dive, touching the bottom. Then talk to the mad scientist to receive your heart piece. He won’t give it to you if you’ve put on the Zora Tunic and Iron Boots and dived down that way.

  • Eric

    Ooccoo does take you back, though… You use her again while outside the dungeon…

  • Eric

    People commenting on the spinner? The spinner was cool, Link looked cool while riding it. I loved the spinner, even though its greatest use outside Arbiter's Grounds was just to get rupees, a poe, and a heart piece.

    • Aaron Toch

      The reason I didn't include the spinner was this: the game failed in implementing the Spinner, but if it had, it would have been way better.

  • Dan

    Bombchu anyone?

    • MikeL

      Right on!

  • MikeL

    "[…] it just takes four. This was the golden rule until Twilight Princess, and it’s been the golden rule for every game after."
    Of the three Zelda games that were made after TP two only had complete heart containers, i.e. "it just takes one".

  • HylianFox
  • John

    to me the most useless item in OoT is the mask of truth really I mean what's it for the stupid stones don't say anything interesting orhelpful

    • Echon

      But you can learn all sorts of neat little hints about Hyrule and some of the people in it from the Mask of Truth.

    • Amy

      The mask of truth was also used to get through the money chest guessing game. 😛

  • Christiana

    Eric beat me to what I was going to say. But, just to nit-pick a little, you don't actually need to have obtained the golden scale to find the sinking lure. Catching a 10+ lbs fish as a child will get you a heart piece and the sinking lure, which the owner of the pond will legalize if you speak to him about it. Not that any of that makes to golden scale anymore useful, heh.

    • Christiana

      ack, sorry- ANUB1S, not Eric. Ooops!

  • Canyarion

    When I read your intro, I was so sure you were going to mention rupees.
    Let’s face it, practically every Zelda game has too many rupees lying around. And I don’t care if I get 1 or 1000 rupees from a chest… I don’t need them.

    By the way I don’t agree with your nr. 1 at all. The Cane of Somaria was pretty cool in ALttP because it’s rare that you get to create something in Zelda. It just feels awesome.

  • heroofmask

    no no no number 1 shpuld be the mermaid suite from ooa that iteam was horrible having to keep tapping the direction you want to go or youll stop was just so stupid it was a step down from the flippers it bade thedungeon after you get it that much horrible

  • K2L

    LOZ – Magic Book
    AOL – Flute
    ALTTP – Cane of Byrna
    OOT – The masks that have no use whatsoever
    MM – Circus Leader's Mask
    TWW – Telescope
    TP – Hawkeye
    PH – Shovel
    ST – Whirlwind
    SS – Bug Medal

    • RPH1

      I left the Hawkeye equiped on the left +pad the whole game so I could look at stuff.

      • K2L

        And?

  • RPH1

    You may not like that the Z:TP Heart pieces are split into 5, but they sure look nice.

    You need the Circus Leader's Mask to get the Fierce Deity's Mask, so there's something. It is also one of a few masks that isn't static. [url ]http://zeldawiki.org/Circus_Leader%27s_Mask[/url]

  • RPH1
  • Carpe_Diem

    How can Cane of Somaria be useless?!? How would you get through Turtle Rock dungeon without it then?

    • Clem

      It's the top 10 LAMEST items, not most useless.

  • guest

    Why not the fairy boomerang in TP, which COULDN'T EVEN HIT ENEMIES.

    You might not like the extra "heart pieces" in TP but how does it make it lame?

    Cane of Somaria is the lamest item in all of Zelda? If that's the case, the series must be doing something right…

    • RPH1

      Do you mean the Gale Boomerang? I could take out all the keese or guay birds in the Cave of Ordeals with out even jumping down to the floor, using that boomerang. Maybe you did something wrong.

  • Zansouki

    How about the cursed medal from SS??? Com on, even Batreaux warns you to not open its chest because it disables the use of potions and shields.

  • Cuber456

    I'm surprised the Horse Call from TP didn't make this list. While it is nice being able to call Epona anywhere, you get that item so late in the game that it is almost useless.

  • Bristol
  • asdf

    Wow. Circus leader mask had great story to it. Screw all of you.

  • Ooccoo is actually useful and great. When you're halfway into a dungeon and you have to stop playing, I wouldn't want to restart. It's just as useful as Farore's Wind in OoT

  • Baker1000

    Sorry but the Goddess Harp should be at least top 3. That was a horrible item to use and totally spoilt the process of learning and playing songs, something we've all come to enjoy in Zelda games. Agree with Amber Relic's reason too. For such a good game, there were some lame decisions made during the development of SS.

  • Sid

    Giant's Knife from OoT. 200 rupees a pop and lasts for eight hits at most. No thanks, I'll spend the thirty to forty five minutes on the quest chain Biggoron's Sword. I got OoT for Christmas of 1998 and in my many playthroughs have never purchased the damn thing.

  • FFWF

    I will not accept your placement of the Cane of Somaria as first on the list. It was great fun using it for the puzzles in the Crown Dungeon, puzzles which you simply couldn't have if it didn't exist. It may not be able to attack anything and they may not have made it as useful as they should have but it was functional and it was interesting.

    (I reject the criticism of the Mermaid Suit, too. I found it a lot less tedious to control than the standard Flippers. Why yes, I am a big fan of OoA, now that you mention it…)

  • Mickii

    I don't mind the large amount of heart pieces in TP. To many times in Zelda games after I beat the game, I like to do all the extra activities, including search for heart pieces. Unfortunately, I find them all too soon. Plus the heart containers are really pretty in TP!

    Now those darn amber relics deserve their place on this list. I can almost recite the description for them! I have over sixty of the by now useless things. Ugh

  • guest2

    What?! Staff of Somoria at #1? Ridiculous. That item was awesome! At least in LttP… I agree it was much less useful in Oracle of Ages. But in LttP, it was not only useful for a variety of puzzles, but you could actually do a controlled detonation, sending magic blasts in four directions! The only other way I can think of to do a controlled long-distance detonation is the remote bombs in Minish Cap, which were a long time coming. The Staff of Somoria is one of those Zelda items I love, where it's not always required but it gives you a creative optional way to fight enemies.

  • Andrew

    not sure if someone already pointed this out, but the Ooccoo in Twilight Princess can warp Link to the spot he left in the dungeon. Just use Ooccoo Jr. before returning to the beginning of the dungeon. Ooccoo explains when you get him/her (i never could tell) that if you want you can just meet him back at the beginning of the dungeon. Using Jr. before that allows you to return to where you left off.

  • Linebeck IV

    Why is Cane of Somaria here? You even say it has it’s use for puzzles but then counter point this by saying it’s not useful in battle, well then half the items of this series ought to be on this list.

  • Marissa Sanders

    You can return to Ooccoo, but you leave the son outside.