The Legend of Zelda teaches us many lessons about life through its gameplay – some that your parents will like, and some that they won’t. Here are the top 5 real life teachings of the Legend of Zelda series.

#5: Always Cut the Grass

"I hope some bombs pop out when I mow this!"

"I'm gonna get me some rupees and bombs!"

If there’s one thing that parents love about the Legend of Zelda, it’s that it gives their children an obsessive-compulsive urge to cut down any grass that they see. Every LoZ player knows that by cutting grass, you can often find rupees, bombs, arrows and even hearts.

Be warned though that these children may not discriminate between long grass and your prized bushes.

#4: Wear Heavy Iron Boots When Walking Into Lakes

Can't see Link swimming? That's because he's doing it right.

Can't see Link swimming? That's because he's doing it right.

I’m sure everybody knows some people who could use this valuable advice. The Iron Boots are a staple of underwater exploration in the Zelda series, and without its help Link could never have explored the temples at the bottom of Lake Hylia.

As humans generally cannot breathe water, this is not a recommended course of action until you find some fishmen to make you a blue version of your clothes that will allow you to breathe water indefinitely.

#3: Pots Must Be Destroyed

No matter the cost, these pots must be destroyed!

This pottery cannot be trusted.

By far the most common of the minions of Ganon that Link encounters on his adventures, pots are dangerous creatures, which often hide in the houses of other people. If you see one, pick it up and smash it against the wall.

#2: Break Into Every House You See

This hero is on a heroic adventure!

This hero is on a heroic adventure!

Breaking into the houses of strangers is a necessary and important part of Link’s quests. Nobody will mind if you randomly wander into their house with a sword and shield and start attacking their pots – in fact, they will be happy to share valuable information with you when you do so!

#1: It’s Dangerous to Go Alone

A friendly member of the local Neighborhood Watch provides Link with help in the form of a sword.

A friendly member of the local Neighborhood Watch provides Link with help in the form of a sword.

The most important lesson of all. The world can be a dangerous place, so whenever you go on any sort of “adventure” remember to have backup, whether it is a wingman for a social event, a partner for a scuba diving expedition, or a spiky stick for a walk through the slums.

If you can think of any important life lessons taught by the Legend of Zelda that I missed, feel free to mention them in the comments.

  • Link5586

    Glass Jars, are very useful at carrying medicines of all sorts, water, bugs, and even fire! With all that, you could practically live in the out doors!

  • swizzles

    Don't attack chickens. They will inevitably form a revolt and strike against you. You will most likely die, unless you can run into the nearest building fast enough.

  • Error

    People hate you if you look like a cartoon.

  • ZanioCanica

    Running backwards and jumping sideways is a faster mode of transportation than running forward.

  • Rand

    Learn to play an ocarina/guitar/drums/bagpipes/or a baton

    • Rand

      and grass whistles

  • IamError

    Chickens never die, but they will gang up on you if you attack them repeatedly. and they will never stay in any fenced-in area for any long period of time

    • Layke

      So what are they really feeding us at Chick-Fil-A?

  • Ribon

    Excelent!! i love this section

  • Ken

    Before I clicked this I thought it was something serious.

  • It is important to remember that no matter how many times one falls into a seemingly bottomless chasm that they will always reappear at the edge of said cliff without any serious consequence. That is, if the random floating hearts above your head are sufficient to maintaining one's life-force…

    [to further this, do not forget that wearing shoes with tiny mercuric wings will allow you to cross said chasm for a few steps a la Christ-on-water.]

  • calibure

    that gettin new boots and running into trees as hard as you can will give you rupees. That people who where unique hats will oneday save the world. little girls who you pay two rupees will not tell you anything. That starting a buisness as a baby will make you incredibly popular and rich to the extent where over half the people in hyrule town have bags with you're face on them.

  • Karadom

    to be depressed about sad trees
    "whoa, look at this tree, its got a face and its so sad!"
    tatl:"who cares if it looks sad. its just a tree!"
    link:"well yea but.look at its face!..its so sad"
    tatl: "trees don't even have faces

    • duuud


  • zoraluigi

    I never realized how dangerous Zelda actually was. 😛

    • You mean link? (Or did you really mean the series of Zelda?)

  • The Silent Orion

    Here’s one:

    You must hit any animals you see with a sword, except chickens. With the exception of chickens, all animals will drop money, bombs, and medicine upon being killed, and will disintegrate shortly after. Chickens, however, cannot die and should not be harmed. Ever. Grabbing one by the feet and jumping off a cliff, however, is perfectly fine.

    • And with the exception of pigs. The go an a rampage just like chickens in WW.

  • Linkfan101

    " This pottery can not be trusted." That's hilarious. So, I should also break into my friends' house? Okay! This is gonna be AWESOME!

  • GEH

    Never leave without a map and compass. The map tells you where to go and the compass reveals all the locations of treasure and where the boss is.

    • Link Master

      I would never look for my boss.

      • GEH

        The boss is the source of all the worlds problems. Kill them and the world will be a much better place.

  • GEH

    That way, you can easliy find said boss and kill him. (After you picked up the dungeon item).

  • Luisa

    I've for one: get a pair of earrings.

  • Jet Maepa

    Digging small holes in the ground will yield hearts, money, and weaponry. Should you run out of ground to dig up, simply walk away and then return; the ground will be back to an un-dug state.

  • DarkStar

    Always come prepared with a horse when crossing large open fields. The walk will take you a few days to cross the entire terrain if you're walking on foot. Also look out for weird looking creatures that are spread across these huge fields, as they carry many valuable items needed for your journey.

  • Natasha

    When travlling with girls never let them see, big mice, large spiders, and above all else skeleton phantoms. Girls get creeped out waaay to easily.

    • Link Master

      They aren't called skeleton phantoms, they are called reaplings.

  • If you're small enough, rolling will be faster than running everywhere.

  • DUDE!!! LOL hahahaha

  • ChainofTermina

    don't like Dark? well, little girl, play a song that will make the Sun instantly come up. don't like sunlight? well Mr. Vampire, play the same song and the Sun will go away. Drought? Don't have a car? play a song and a Horse will appear behind you. or screw the horse, play a song and a little ball of light, or a tornado, or a pair of wings that devour you will instantly bring you to you destination. Mummies encircling your house? play a song. not enough of an updraft to let you fly on you leaf? play a song.

  • ChainofTermina

    oh, and remember to SAY NO to magic swords. you think drugs are bad. well they are, but magic swords are guaranteed to put you in a seven year coma every time. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. L. O. Z.!

    • Eric


  • LOZwatermelon

    Whenever you encounter a floating phantom, run into the nearest color-changing sidewalk.

  • gar

    Also, music is not about do re mi fa sol la ti. it's about A, ↑, ↓, →, ←

  • Triforce-Deity

    1- Do not worry if you see a talking boat or hat. It's perfectly normal.

    2- I am Error.

    3- Walking into a volcano is never a good idea… that is, unless you are wearing red.

    4- Gloomy-looking travestites are your friends, despite all appearances.

  • Maeowe

    Wanna see the world from a different view? Just put some fruit on your head and instantaneously your soul will be transfered into a seagull (when seagull is present) and leave your old body lifeless. Now you are free to roam the skies (for a certain distance) and find hard to reach treasures in the sky.

  • Nintenfan81

    Just because you have a third of the ultimate power ever to exist does not mean you can do anything different than before. I mean, after all it's only the power of the gods, why would you think it could make you fly? You need a chicken for that.

  • Curly q

    Jump off a 50ft. cliff. Don't worry, you'll only lose 3 – 5 hearts.

  • Robyn

    if your small enouh crawl into a hole, if you carry a chicken on your head you'll fly, digging up graves gives you treasure, repeaditly crashing into trees dosnt give you brain damage, swimming in freezing water wont give you hypothermia, if you want it too rain sing the song of storms, you'll never be tired even if you stay up 24/7, man i got a million of them. XD

  • Azerik

    Being sad while riding your horse into a ridiculously open forest will inevitable lead you to an alternate dimension.

  • Kenzie

    Locked/ Barred Door? Puzzle to solve? Search everywhere for inconspicuous Gold Eye Switches.

    Worst Case Senerio: Don't have enough small keys to get into the last room. Always cary extra! =)

    When in Doubt wistle the Song of Time. If you are lucky a large blue block will appear.

  • Leo

    You can instantly learn to play instruments if its thrown into a moat by a princess

  • Felipe

    You forgot some:
    1 – Explode any cracks on walls you see with bombs.
    2 – Chickens are immortal, and they will kill you if you disturb them.
    3 – "Error knows a secret" = Dudes named Error are important.
    4 – If all else fails use fire.
    5 – "Pay me for the door repair charge." This teaches you not to break into everyone's house or else you might be charged for the door. Who lives under a tree by the way?
    6 – Going inside a house with a young lady can recover your health. If the lady is old you will recover your magic instead.
    7 – Chronology is something too hard to understand, so stop studying history.
    8 – You can put anything inside bottles, from soup to deku princesses.
    9 – Giant trees and fish are friendly and possibly dungeons/temples.
    10 – Only people named Link are true heroes.

  • keimori

    you forgot

    1) twili curced artifact bring all the fun of geting high without the extenceive tramas.
    2) stalking people, be it with or without, a camera, will truely bring joy to the world!

  • Renn


    That's all I have to say.

  • DLink

    Dont feel like completing your journey cheat your way through hyrule with codes

  • DLink

    stuck on a cliff:
    where your boots with wings
    use your white maned horse
    hook/claw/grapple hook to the vine on the other side *ooooh a cliff i have no way of getting to the side except that attachable vine all i have are bows gears boots slingshots and a grappable clawshot

    jumping off an extremely high cliff only takes three hearts you'll be okay

  • DLink

    burning yourself only gives you heart burn make sure you have enough hearts

  • Patche

    Naked ugly chics with seaweed around them that fly are goood 😉 xD
    23 is number 1!
    Big swords break unless you go on ridiculous long time quests to get something to make them not break.
    If you ever wonder into a house full of spiders that talk…its ok, they are just trapped and need help and will reward you.
    Always swing your fishing rod around people with hats on
    Only talk to angry gorons if you are a sumo
    If you have a bow…and your standing in a lake in the morning…shoot the sun ;D

  • Roll'd

    Rolling is a faster way to travel than walking, you should roll everywhere you go, even on stairs.

  • cuckoo16

    you should always gather all the frogs when it's spring time. use your special glass to see the dead. stones will tell you the time if you slash them, or ever better, the secrets of the world. play with the five kids that live on the moon and you'll save the world (the easy way).

  • Zarco

    When somebody gives you a bottle of milk or oil, the bottle is valuable but the contents are disposable. In fact, many people skip them and just give empty bottles as rewards.

    Fairys, aka fireflies, are valuable until theey follow you around and try to give you advice. Then you want to kill em.

    Temples in hard-to-reach places are filled with traps, monsters, puzzles, and sometimes lava.

  • Pikachuisblue

    *Doesn't know this is a joke*

  • Sean

    -dont bother learning geography, itll rearrange itsself every few years anyway.
    -milk not only builds strong bones, it spontaneously heals your injuries
    -taking off your metal boots makes them weightless
    -unless youre in town, violence is always the answer
    -no matter how strong you are, you can never just move that pesky rock
    -the only thing more dangerous than a chicken is a pig on an island

  • Lalo

    Wow, you're not funny at all.

  • Have you thought about to adding some sort of bookmark buttons or links to your blog? It will be smoother for me to save such a great website.

  • Joko tree

    Always remember golden triangles can do many things.



  • GorCoronSumo

    Front-rolling down stairs doesn't hurt.

  • GorCoronSumo

    If you talk, legions of hardcore fans will be angered.

  • Sami

    Be sure to shoot down grown men in green unitards. They will be your friend and sell you maps for cheap!

  • Maxi G

    "If all else fails, use fire."

  • Learn an instrument. It'll become handy some day.

  • Reis Kloeckener

    #6: Use the Chickens

    It’s a bird.. It’s a plane.. Well yes and no, it’s Link with a chicken.

    Lost your ball in the neighbors yard have you? Well, the next time you find yourself a rut, I suggest taking Link’s unspoken advice into consideration – In a sticky situation, grab a chicken. These flightless birds prove to offer more than just nutritional value, as Link demonstrates. So grab a chicken y’all and retrieve your soccer ball the cool way.

    CAUTION: Overuse/abuse may result in loss of hearts.

    (I liked your format. So I used it. Just found you last week through a podcast and love your stuff. Thanks for sharing/inspiring.)